This is x-posted from ABCfamily and the on-going debate of KylexJessi and KylexAmanda. I can't believe I'm spending so much time on this. sigh.
Well, seeings as how I work for an attorney, and I am attempting to become one (either that or psychologist, I'm still on the fence), I'd have to say that neither side has really provided ample reasons as to why Kessi should be together or why Kylanda should be together. On either side, the summary is thus:
1. They are soul mates
2. They are meant to be
3. They look cute together
4. They understand each other
It's all conjecture. Neither side is going to be convinced that the other is right. If there are individual conversions, then fine, but I don't suddenly see you or Cnith converting, neither really do I see myself or Amber converting. It's going to be on-going until the season ends and the writers make up their minds creatively. Either side has potential for success or failure. And I'll even go against the grain and prove and disprove why each side does and does not work. Here goes:
Since I love Kessi so much, I'll take this side on first:
PROS:
Since "conception" from the pod, Kyle has felt alone (of course, until he met the Tragers, but even then he hesitated in telling them everything), and that loneliness was compounded upon by the fact that he believed there was no one else in the world quite like him; no one as advanced, no one that could think on his level, no one that would truly understood who and what he was. However, when he discovered Jessi's existence and what Jessi was, he tried hard, very, very hard to be with her, show her that there was someone else out there just like her, and--in a sense--was able to assure himself that there was someone else out there, just like him, who could understand. From the moment the two saw each other, there was a click, and even before them meeting, there was the constant feeling of something, just something out there, that connection floating in the aether that drew him to her even before she was fully conscious and out of her own pod. When they were at the bonfire, when they were at the Rack, when they were at Hands on a Hybrid, their connection drew them closer and closer and closer until they finally met, were finally within each others' space, and that connection would never tear them apart, would always keep them on the same wavelength. Kyle needs her as much as she needs him; they balance each other out, they match each other-wit for wit, strength for strength. They are the only ones of their kind. Where Kyle is ice, is stoic and calm, prefers peace over violence, Jessi is fire, prefers action over waiting, prefers adventure and getting to the heart of things. Both crave foundation, reliability and a place to belong, a home to always call their own. Not only that, but it is in fact true what they say, opposites do attract each other; however, Jessi and Kyle are not that dissimilar from each other that there is no shared compatibility, and it has nothing to do with their shared abilities, the fact that they were “born” the same way or even what the psychic said in episode 3x02. They both have that deeply rooted fear that no one will understand them, that when it truly matters, everyone will leave them and there will be no one left to care for them or for them to care for. They are the only constant, so far, in their lives that will manage to remain the same: Jessi will be there because, truthfully, in this world there will be no one else like Kyle, and Kyle will be there, truthfully, because no one in the world will challenge him quite like Jessi, and will assure him (even if she betrays him), that when push comes to shove, she never forsake him fully. Jessi is afraid of life with no one around to truly care for her, and well, if she betrays Kyle, she’ll be in for a very long, lonely existence. She’s not like Sarah and yet she is everything like Sarah. When Sarah told her to come with her and leave, she didn’t; she forsook her one opportunity for a familial connection with her biological mother, to help the one person in the world that matters to her more than life itself. When push came to shove, and Kyle was in pain about what he had done to Amanda, she decided that his happiness meant more to her then her own and told him to “go make it right.”
CONS:
As some have stated, quite adamantly, Jessi could still be suffering from the after effects of MadaCorps’ botched programming attempts. Her affections, and strong feelings for Kyle, could all be the manufacture of some sick and twisted game, and there has been no resolution as to whether or not that programming has been wiped or is still messing with her mind. In the end, it could very well be that he feelings for Kyle are a bi-product of that mental tampering. After all, MadaCorp didn’t fully understand what they were getting into when they tapped Jessi as a resource for getting closer to Kyle. They didn’t fully understand the Zzyzx project until they realized that the complete data was floating out there in the ether somewhere in Kyle’s brain. So, the “suggestion” that they implanted may, in fact, still be working its way in her psyche, twisting her natural ability to find someone else of whom she maybe truly be compatible with. Also, the current state of her psyche. Children that have abandonment issues often latch onto the first thing that appears to them as a constant, even if it is a negative influence, it is the only thing that remains the same in their lives and gives them something to believe in, that will never leave them. Kyle is the only real constant in Jessi’s life that has not changed, has not left and has proven to be able to be her foundation. Her “affections” for him could merely be the bi-product of her abandonment issues and once she develops that ability to stand on her own and be her own person, then she may very well discover that she can develop healthy feelings and relations with others elsewhere. Kyle’s feelings for her, thus far, have been platonic. He has not shown any true romantic emotions towards Jessi, despite what others may want to see. He has made no advances, and no overtures that can be construed as “romantic”. He sees her as his counterpart, but not as THE counterpart. HOWEVER, as a side note, platonic relationships can very well develop into romantic ones (as I have seen, and as many have seen, in their own personal lives).
And now for Kylanda:
PROS:
With their relationship, is a romantic ideal. They are the innocent couple, a simple boy and a simple girl, meeting each other for the first time and falling for one another. He was drawn to her, not by her looks, but by her music, and as most know, music is an outlet for the soul. He was drawn to her soul, in a sense. He pined for her, for the first portion of first season and for a portion of second before finally building up the courage to pursue her openly. Their’s is a match of innocent souls, exploring life and the murkiness of life’s waters with the other. Amanda, in her own right, has underdeveloped strengths: she is firm in her beliefs, stands her ground when tested and when she discovers truths, is able to adapt semi-effectively. She believes in the good in people, as does Kyle, and is able to give others the benefit of the doubt. She helps friends in need, have overcome the difficult obstacles in life and is a constant, reliable, dependable young girl. Kyle needs that in his life. She is the one place he can go to, without having to worry about the pressures of being Kyle XY. With her, he can be a regular boy.
CONS:
However, despite it all, Kyle does not trust her. Kyle’s feelings for her are, as many have stated, idealized. Their relationship is one built on smoke and mirrors. Kyle sees her as a person that needs to be protected, as a person that can not handle the secret life that he lives and fears that she will be hurt by it. Even upon fear of her possibly being harmed during her kidnapping, and even possibly killed, he still did not reveal to her the reasons for why he is what he is, and what is was that had truly happened. Yes, there may be trust that exists in their relationship, but it is all one-sided. As stated again, their relationship is one of ‘first loves’, and first loves should always be sweet and endearing, and the type of love that you can look back on and say, ‘that was the one that taught me how I want to be treated in a relationship, how I want to be loved and cherished in a relationship.’ However, that’s all their romance really is: it is that first kiss, that first romance and that first heartbreak. It’s the superimposed view of what romance novels and romance movies strike to make their audiences drool over, but it’s unrealistic. It’s the honeymoon stage, where every single flaw is overlooked and every single problem is smoothed over with a kiss. But eventually, reality sets in and the honeymoon stage is over. Things that were smoothed under the rug can no longer be overlooked, problems that were “solved” with a kiss come back with bloody vengeance, and it’s up to the two involved to work it out. And, as we can see from the problems that have arisen in this current season, the problems are not able to be worked out so far. Not only that, but the believability is also a factor, and that while Kyle XY as a show has some pretty unbelievable themes, it still has to connect with its audience in such a way that one can tag along on the adventure from the comfort of their own living rooms. Amanda’s blind acceptance of the strange things that Kyle does and the secrets that Kyle keeps are not believable. She has yet to ask questions, has yet to make demands, and—in all honesty—if your boyfriend told you that you had been knocked out at prom, but you come to find out later that you were kidnapped and he “might” have had something to do with it or was a part of it, however remotely, everyone knows they’d have dumped the guy like a bad habit.
Kyle and Amanda are cute, but real life is not all butterfly kisses and longing looks from across the room. Sometimes, life hurts, sometimes people betray you and sometimes it’s not all smoke and mirrors. Kyle sees Amanda as this idealized and fragile thing, that can do no wrong and is always pure. That’s his vision of her, but if she were to do something bad, what would happen to his vision of her then? He has seen Jessi’s flaws and seen her at her lowest, so he knows what to expect from her bad girl side, but he too doesn’t know what to expect for her good girl side. He has yet to see Amanda’s flaws, and if he does see them, can he ever see her again as ‘good girl Amanda’? His love for her is puppy love, the first stirrings of a boy growing into a man, and what he has to discover for himself about relationships. It is not mature, and it is not self-actualized. It’s just beginning.
NOW, as I stated, neither of these relationships can the automatic cosmic ‘OK’ stamp of approval. They are both littered with their problems, their deceptions, the joys, their sorrows, their happinesses and their triumphs. I’m not here to sway one side OR the other, but I certainly hoped I have provided and ample basis for either side. I know there’s not much in the way of PROS for the Kylanda, but I had to stretch myself. I frown on ‘puppy love’, and while I had my own bout with it, I will say I’m more of the wild adventurous Jessi-type so it took me a minute to get passed my own trust issues to understand where Amanda is coming from. Sorry for such a long essay too, but I’ve always wanted to be a writer too, and writing was always a good trait to have to become a lawyer.
INTERESTING SIDE NOTE:
Amanda’s name means ‘lovable’ (it’s my mom’s name), and we can see from the show that she is quite the lovable character. However, Jessi’s name (originally derived from the name ‘Jessica’) means ‘He sees.’ Isn’t THAT interesting? Whereas one denotes automatically feelings of love, the other implies that one can truly SEE the inside of the other, and not feel the need to see one with the deceptive goggles of love, but to truly see one and grow to love them. I wonder what Kyle’s name means. Hm…..
/ramblings
1.30.2009
1.23.2009
Kessi esta FUEGO...Kyle/Jessi alles der Weg....*cheers*
Oh boy! That kiss...AWESOMES!!!! I've heard people claim that that kiss looks forced, but if you study the body language, he's leaning into the kiss, not pulling away...if it were a forced thing, he'd have pulled away immediately, not leaned right into it and kept his hand positioned on her cheek. He looks like he's craddling her face: a CLEAR indication of affection. His kisses with Amdanda are chaste. That kiss with Jessi was FUEGO!!!!!
I am so tempted to post an entire post on body language and signals and human sexuality, but I'm at work, so...I'll probably do it later. I LOVE JAIMIE ALEXANDER!!!!
A Total Rant On Something Pointless. sigh.
On the GRAVE Disservice and Manipulation of One Jessi XX By Kyle XY and The Writers Of This Sow, Or...This Show Is So God-damned RIGGED!!!
Okay, so, I’ll admit that I am a late starter to this show. I only recently started watching it when I had nothing else better to watch one insanely boring night, and I figured…what the hell? So, I tuned in and watched, and was immediately smitten with the character of Jessi XX. I’ll admit that when I first heard of the teen drama KYLE XY, and saw the promo commercials for it, I knew that it was going to be a disappointment in some ways. And I wasn’t wrong: every other character in the show, except Jessi, of course, is so focused on the ‘ME-ME-ME’ aspect that they’re all convoluted, selfish and manipulative. HOWEVER, what gets me, is that one of the characters—Mrs. Nicole Trager, the matriarch of the Trager family, whose supposed to be this understanding and caring psychologist—is treating Jessi, and yet in her in notes says that Jessi ‘lacks empathy’, is ‘socially manipulative’ and ‘remorseless’. I am prepared to argue in this essay as to why Jessi is probably the most unjustly demonized character on the show.
Okay, so…I watched the episode ‘Psychic Friend’, this being my first introduction to Kyle XY, and I immediately—for some reason—identified with the character of Jessi. I don’t know if it was her soulful eyes or the clear indication that this is a girl who has been beaten down by life and is just reaching out for a hand. I usually identify with those types of characters because point blank, they have meat to them to chew over and analyze the various flavors. I knew, right then and there, that I was hooked on the show, but only to see Jessi. Call it a ‘sistamance’ (you know, a totally innocent friendship with your sistah (friend, whatever)…something…look, if guys can have totally platonic bromances, then what can girls have? Exactly!). So, I decided to find the last two seasons’ episodes on Kyle XY and hunker down and watch them.
Let’s just say that I didn’t even make it to episode two of season one before I got irritated with all the Kyle/Amanda time. Anyway, I skipped straight on to Season two, and I was rewarded with JOY. Jessi’s character is the most well-rounded of all the other characters. Here you have a human being that is basically a blank slate: she has not been influenced by anything in the world and is pure innocence. Then enter ebeel MadaCorp and Jessi’s character is portrayed (quite unjustly) as the antagonist of the show. She does things, and every other character foolishly believes that all of the actions done were of her own accord. Point blank, they weren’t. Nothing Jessi did was her own fault, and I’ll prove it too.
Firstly, the “murder” in the woods: she is completely innocent in that action because we all know that murder, as defined by Webster’s dictionary, is a premeditated act. She didn’t wait, watch and plan to kill the guy, it happened because he was a twisted, sexual pervert and she did the world a service by ridding it of one sick f**k. Now, some of you may think that the moral ambiguousness of her actions is totally up for debate, but I submit to you that she perceived a danger and acted on instinct. She was not possessed of the higher reasoning processes or logic that most of us were raised with (and some who still don’t even employ it either way). So, accountability of her actions is null and void where she is concerned. You can’t prosecute a baby if she accidently pulls a trigger, can you? No, and basically the brain that Jessi possessed was that of a baby, who in no way shape or form understood the logic or right or wrong about her actions.
Second, MadaCorp and its inability to not f**k with human beings. Everyone seems to readily accept Jessi as being inherently evil, even though in the end it gets revealed that MadaCorp messed with her head and made her do the things she did, or rather: planted suggestions and she acted on them. For example, they clearly programmed Jessi to do as her “sister” Emily said, but only because Emily “loves [her]”. That one statement means that Jessi was powerless to refuse the suggestions that were implanted. When she “betrayed” Kyle, she was obeying the suggestions planted in her brain and took the information from his mind. She is consistently demonized for these actions even though it can clearly be determined that she had no control over her own mind or what she did: MadaCorp and its employees were the ones pulling Jessi’s strings; every time she acted defiant or rebellious, she was brought in and “adjusted”.
That, in unto itself is enough to mess with anyone’s head beyond repair, and if you don’t think so, think of MadaCorp’s tampering as a higher form of brain washing. Most victims of brain washing are permanently scarred for life by what their captors did to them, what they subjected them to. With Jessi, she’s been permanently scarred, permanently damaged, and is certainly trying to make amends for actions that weren’t even her fault, and yet she is still treated like a ticking time bomb.
Third, with the incident that happened with Lori, I fully blame that on Jessi’s inability to deal with, or understand, human emotions or how to cope, and deal, with them and their aftermaths. She has the mind of an infant, and what do infants do when they usually can’t communicate what they’re feeling, when they want something or don’t understand how to maturely process their emotions? They throw tantrums, they cry, they scream, throw things, act out rashly without understanding the consequences (until, of course, they are taught). Now, what happened with Lori was a bad thing; however, when Jessi came to understand that her actions were wrong (as proven by her inability to understand why the police would be involved in the incident with Lori’s attack, when she and Declan were talking in the café were Josh works, and when she was FINALLY made aware of what she had done and returned the necklace back to Lori anonymously), she tried to make amends so as to alleviate herself of guilt and to seek redemption from her prior actions.
Ah yes, and lastly, let’s get into the episode where she jumped off the roof. Now, she seems to be exceptionally demonized in this particular episode and—I am happy to report—that in this episode too, Kyle XY showed what a manipulative, conniving and selfish bastard he really is (I always knew there was something shady about that kid). Anyway, I understand where Jessi’s frustrations were coming from. Since the time she first arrived to the present, she has been pushed from one extreme of emotions to the other, with no clear anchor either way as to who she is, what she is or what she is meant to be. When she returns to the school, she is overshadowed by the things she had done, not just to the people there, but also to those that live and work outside of its walls: from the Tragers to the asshat in the woods, she is haunted by those memories. She is haunted by memories of Declan, haunted by what MadaCorp had done to her, how they had stolen the life that she had wanted so desperately to have—even if it were just faked memories—and how every person that she’s ever trusted was lying to her, manipulating and abusing her for their own ends.
Now, she comes back to the biggest and most daunting cesspool of all: High School, where any little thing you do, can follow you for the rest of your high school career. And, it seems, especially at this school, where the shallow student body votes on who’s who of their own number: who’s the slut, who’s the perfect couple, etc, etc. Jessi is thrown back into this hostile environment and forced to deal with the peers that ignored her or were completely hostile to her from the get-go (let’s all remember Lori’s little dupe at being Jessi’s ‘frienemy, shall we?). And, if you have ever been in that type of environment, or are still dealing with that type of atmosphere, you can remember how nerve-racking and daunting it is to take on.
So, Jessi lashes out in the only way she knows how: she uses her special abilities to be seen, to be heard, to be known, to be more than just that weird girl with the strange tendencies. People see her, like her and want to be around her. She’s not alone. Now, most of you would argue that she’s got Kyle, so that makes her not alone. HOWEVER, let’s remember that when Kyle was going through all his bullshit, he knew he had a place to go back to, a home to call his own and a family that would catch him if he ever fell. Let’s remember that Kyle has had a support system in the Trager family since the very beginning, that—aside from ol’boy at the group home punching him in the face—he has always had a much easier time of it than Jessi has. No one has been there to anchor her, support her or care for her, and Taylor—the man who claims to be her father—could very well be manipulating her for Latnok.
And then, she is antagonized…again. By everyone. Now, I’ll admit that showing off wasn’t a very good thing, but her secret is her’s to share. Not Kyle’s. Kyle can disappear and not have to share what he has, but she can share it. She was thrust into a situation that she is barely able to cope with and now she has to be manipulated by Kyle because he’s a pansy-ass, who’s afraid of being extraordinary (this is where, I feel, that HEROES should come in: Sylar should so totally go Medieval on Kyle’s ass). Anyway.
Kyle manipulates Jessi because he is selfish. He wants to keep the nice, comfortable life that he’s living, and he doesn’t care who he hurts or what he has to do to maintain it. He has friends and people that love him and care about him and sacrifice for him and adore him, and he wants to keep it all. Everything he does, he claims is for the greater good, no matter if it isn’t actually good for everyone. He holds to this belief that his moral compass is straighter than everyone’s, when it’s just as fallible as any human being’s. He made that judgment call, even before he was fully conscious, when he downloaded Zzyxx’s mainframe into his mind. Now, if Adam Baylin had still been in charge of the company, would he have even been allowed to complete that action? No, but he still assumed control over something that he had no business attempting to control, regardless of whether or not, the information was right or wrong. He keeps that knowledge locked in his own head, so that he holds all the keys and all the power and if he ever wanted to, could use it against his captors and MadaCorp, or anyone else.
And THEN to add insult to injury from that episode, he has the nerve to sit there and listen to Jessi pour her heart out and then give her some bullshit lesson about how she’s supposed to only ‘be herself’ and everyone will accept her’ crap. Seriously? Because, I can tell you, everything in the world, EVERYTHING, is about that first impression, the way you look and how you act upon that first meeting. Why else is Jessi so demonized if everyone is supposedly suppose to look underneath the surface and see the real you? BULLSHIT! Kyle only told her that crap so that she’d keep her mouth shut and so that his happy little world wouldn’t be ruined, where as her’s could fall the f**k apart. He needs to be needed, and so he creates the situation so that he can continue to be the one everyone leans on.
Now, onto the writers.
They irritate me because it’s not like I can’t see what they’re doing, and it was kind of the reason that I avoided the show in the first place. Let’s get something straight: I don’t like Amanda, and soon as I saw her and her plaintive, woe-is-me looks from the first season’s promos, I knew that I wouldn’t like her character, that the show was going to be some angst-ridden teen drama that ‘Not-Another-Teen-Movie’ was spawned to criticize and make fun of. She’s a stock character as far as I’m concerned, with no backbone to speak of and seems to NEED to be protected from the rest of the world. She has no depth, and nothing that inspires me to think: ‘day-um, that is a sweet character you might say…ROUND!’ She’s a Mary-Sue of epic proportions. She’s a goody-two-shoes, easily taken advantage of stock character, and it’s a pity that she hasn’t been killed off because of her own stupidity. She doesn’t even fight for Kyle when she sees Jessi going for him, she just stands around and whines and cries and THEN, when Kyle says, ‘Oh pity me, oh pity me, I’m the lonely bleeding heart teen that woke up from a pod and doesn’t understand the wrong that I do, forgive me sweet, sweet Amanda! FORGIVEEEEEE MEEE!’ She cries and goes back to him, EVERY TIME.
And, let’s not forget that shoot-me-in-eardrum disgusting music that they play every time she’s around! Every time, I saw it it reminded me of that scene in Not-Another-Teen-Movie, where the girl of everyone’s dreams steps into the room and no one can do ANYTHING until her theme music stops playing and she finally moves on. You know the one, that annoying bitch that just needed to fall down the steps and break her neck? Yea, that one. She’s easily able to be walked over and yet people are enamored with the walking-doormat, claiming that it’s great to see that kind of purity and innocence in a TV character. Okay, okay, purity and all that is well and good, but honesty, how many people go for so-naïve-it’s-sickening? Seriously?
Okay, sorry, I digressed a lot in that last paragraph, what I meant to say was: I hope they didn’t add Jessi as the foil to Kyle and Amanda getting together in the end and Jessi gets the short end of the stick. She’s a character that’s been emotionally and mentally battered and abused, manipulated and screwed over and this is just one more time that the writers can’t seem to utilize her character and make her kick some serious ass. Like, seriously, if Kyle had embarrassed you in front of everyone, I don’t think you’d be willing to hear him out. I think you’d probably kick his ass and then hear his lame ass apology while you tell him: ‘I WON”T LET UP UNTIL YOU GET OFF YOUR HIGH HORSE AND SCREAM ‘UNCLE’!!!’ Or mayhap that’s me.
I mean, don’t get me wrong: they’ve made an extremely complex character with this chica. She has depths, she has the emotional angst that all good storytellers should infuse their characters with; she’s amazing, gorgeous, beautiful and brilliant, but what I always see of her, is that she’s thrust into situations where she comes out last. With Lori and Declan, she actually LIKED Declan. She wanted to be with DECLAN. She didn’t manipulate her way into his life, didn’t sabotage anything, didn’t betray him. Her heart pounded when she met him, she felt genuine feelings for him, but then MadaCorp terminated that when they made her go for Kyle, and the writers terminated it even more when they wrote that bullshit ass storyline and stuck with it. They brought Declan and Lori together (of a sorts) and are pushing Jessi between Kyle and Amanda just to give some romantic tension and drama so that Kyle and Amanda will eventually get back together, get married, have disgustingly chipper, super genius kids, get old and die (good riddance). Of course, Jessi will be the doting “aunt”, who’ll secretly wish for Kyle, but pine for him from afar. Once again, Jessi gets the short end of the stick.
And please, don’t feed me that bullshit about Cassidy. So, all Jessi is good enough for is the evil guy? Let me guess: evil guy sees girl, girl is evil guy’s target, but evil guy—in being around girl—ends up falling for girl, evil guy turns away from life of super top secret evil, gets with girl, both have angsty-guilt-ridden love affair, girl’s super powered counterpart gets mad, super powered counterpart sees error of his ways, girl stays with evil guy, evil guy’s company gets mad, kills evil guy and super powered girl is left all alone once again.
Seriously, that better not happen or I’m raiding the studios and writing this crackpot storyline right: Jessi with Kyle. Amanda with….her piano, Declan and Lori and Josh and Andy, and everyone lives happily every after.
ROUND!
PS: Upon watching the indignity of Jessi getting talked down to by Lori in Episode 16 of season 2, I realize that none of these characters understand the trauma that she—Jessi—has to endure and cope with. I get it: Lori got her ass kicked and that was a scary experience, but at least she was in control of herself at the time, at least afterwards, she was still in control of herself; she was able to pick herself up and understand that the actions done were not her fault. HOWEVER, no one seems to want to face up to the fact that Jessi was programmed to be a specific way and that that programming got messed up.
If Lori’s all twisted about her getting her ass handed to her, and then having that be a ‘traumatic experience’, try not even being in control of your own body, never knowing who you are or who you could be at any second because something could go wrong in what someone else did to you that you had no say so in. Try living with the knowledge that at any point in time, you could become a walking killing machine and not even realize or understand that you’d done something wrong until you find out about later when you think you’re this sweet and innocent kid. Try having every memory that you ever thought real or true, being a manufactured by-product of someone else’s sick and twisted game.
/rant…hopefully
Okay, so, I’ll admit that I am a late starter to this show. I only recently started watching it when I had nothing else better to watch one insanely boring night, and I figured…what the hell? So, I tuned in and watched, and was immediately smitten with the character of Jessi XX. I’ll admit that when I first heard of the teen drama KYLE XY, and saw the promo commercials for it, I knew that it was going to be a disappointment in some ways. And I wasn’t wrong: every other character in the show, except Jessi, of course, is so focused on the ‘ME-ME-ME’ aspect that they’re all convoluted, selfish and manipulative. HOWEVER, what gets me, is that one of the characters—Mrs. Nicole Trager, the matriarch of the Trager family, whose supposed to be this understanding and caring psychologist—is treating Jessi, and yet in her in notes says that Jessi ‘lacks empathy’, is ‘socially manipulative’ and ‘remorseless’. I am prepared to argue in this essay as to why Jessi is probably the most unjustly demonized character on the show.
Okay, so…I watched the episode ‘Psychic Friend’, this being my first introduction to Kyle XY, and I immediately—for some reason—identified with the character of Jessi. I don’t know if it was her soulful eyes or the clear indication that this is a girl who has been beaten down by life and is just reaching out for a hand. I usually identify with those types of characters because point blank, they have meat to them to chew over and analyze the various flavors. I knew, right then and there, that I was hooked on the show, but only to see Jessi. Call it a ‘sistamance’ (you know, a totally innocent friendship with your sistah (friend, whatever)…something…look, if guys can have totally platonic bromances, then what can girls have? Exactly!). So, I decided to find the last two seasons’ episodes on Kyle XY and hunker down and watch them.
Let’s just say that I didn’t even make it to episode two of season one before I got irritated with all the Kyle/Amanda time. Anyway, I skipped straight on to Season two, and I was rewarded with JOY. Jessi’s character is the most well-rounded of all the other characters. Here you have a human being that is basically a blank slate: she has not been influenced by anything in the world and is pure innocence. Then enter ebeel MadaCorp and Jessi’s character is portrayed (quite unjustly) as the antagonist of the show. She does things, and every other character foolishly believes that all of the actions done were of her own accord. Point blank, they weren’t. Nothing Jessi did was her own fault, and I’ll prove it too.
Firstly, the “murder” in the woods: she is completely innocent in that action because we all know that murder, as defined by Webster’s dictionary, is a premeditated act. She didn’t wait, watch and plan to kill the guy, it happened because he was a twisted, sexual pervert and she did the world a service by ridding it of one sick f**k. Now, some of you may think that the moral ambiguousness of her actions is totally up for debate, but I submit to you that she perceived a danger and acted on instinct. She was not possessed of the higher reasoning processes or logic that most of us were raised with (and some who still don’t even employ it either way). So, accountability of her actions is null and void where she is concerned. You can’t prosecute a baby if she accidently pulls a trigger, can you? No, and basically the brain that Jessi possessed was that of a baby, who in no way shape or form understood the logic or right or wrong about her actions.
Second, MadaCorp and its inability to not f**k with human beings. Everyone seems to readily accept Jessi as being inherently evil, even though in the end it gets revealed that MadaCorp messed with her head and made her do the things she did, or rather: planted suggestions and she acted on them. For example, they clearly programmed Jessi to do as her “sister” Emily said, but only because Emily “loves [her]”. That one statement means that Jessi was powerless to refuse the suggestions that were implanted. When she “betrayed” Kyle, she was obeying the suggestions planted in her brain and took the information from his mind. She is consistently demonized for these actions even though it can clearly be determined that she had no control over her own mind or what she did: MadaCorp and its employees were the ones pulling Jessi’s strings; every time she acted defiant or rebellious, she was brought in and “adjusted”.
That, in unto itself is enough to mess with anyone’s head beyond repair, and if you don’t think so, think of MadaCorp’s tampering as a higher form of brain washing. Most victims of brain washing are permanently scarred for life by what their captors did to them, what they subjected them to. With Jessi, she’s been permanently scarred, permanently damaged, and is certainly trying to make amends for actions that weren’t even her fault, and yet she is still treated like a ticking time bomb.
Third, with the incident that happened with Lori, I fully blame that on Jessi’s inability to deal with, or understand, human emotions or how to cope, and deal, with them and their aftermaths. She has the mind of an infant, and what do infants do when they usually can’t communicate what they’re feeling, when they want something or don’t understand how to maturely process their emotions? They throw tantrums, they cry, they scream, throw things, act out rashly without understanding the consequences (until, of course, they are taught). Now, what happened with Lori was a bad thing; however, when Jessi came to understand that her actions were wrong (as proven by her inability to understand why the police would be involved in the incident with Lori’s attack, when she and Declan were talking in the café were Josh works, and when she was FINALLY made aware of what she had done and returned the necklace back to Lori anonymously), she tried to make amends so as to alleviate herself of guilt and to seek redemption from her prior actions.
Ah yes, and lastly, let’s get into the episode where she jumped off the roof. Now, she seems to be exceptionally demonized in this particular episode and—I am happy to report—that in this episode too, Kyle XY showed what a manipulative, conniving and selfish bastard he really is (I always knew there was something shady about that kid). Anyway, I understand where Jessi’s frustrations were coming from. Since the time she first arrived to the present, she has been pushed from one extreme of emotions to the other, with no clear anchor either way as to who she is, what she is or what she is meant to be. When she returns to the school, she is overshadowed by the things she had done, not just to the people there, but also to those that live and work outside of its walls: from the Tragers to the asshat in the woods, she is haunted by those memories. She is haunted by memories of Declan, haunted by what MadaCorp had done to her, how they had stolen the life that she had wanted so desperately to have—even if it were just faked memories—and how every person that she’s ever trusted was lying to her, manipulating and abusing her for their own ends.
Now, she comes back to the biggest and most daunting cesspool of all: High School, where any little thing you do, can follow you for the rest of your high school career. And, it seems, especially at this school, where the shallow student body votes on who’s who of their own number: who’s the slut, who’s the perfect couple, etc, etc. Jessi is thrown back into this hostile environment and forced to deal with the peers that ignored her or were completely hostile to her from the get-go (let’s all remember Lori’s little dupe at being Jessi’s ‘frienemy, shall we?). And, if you have ever been in that type of environment, or are still dealing with that type of atmosphere, you can remember how nerve-racking and daunting it is to take on.
So, Jessi lashes out in the only way she knows how: she uses her special abilities to be seen, to be heard, to be known, to be more than just that weird girl with the strange tendencies. People see her, like her and want to be around her. She’s not alone. Now, most of you would argue that she’s got Kyle, so that makes her not alone. HOWEVER, let’s remember that when Kyle was going through all his bullshit, he knew he had a place to go back to, a home to call his own and a family that would catch him if he ever fell. Let’s remember that Kyle has had a support system in the Trager family since the very beginning, that—aside from ol’boy at the group home punching him in the face—he has always had a much easier time of it than Jessi has. No one has been there to anchor her, support her or care for her, and Taylor—the man who claims to be her father—could very well be manipulating her for Latnok.
And then, she is antagonized…again. By everyone. Now, I’ll admit that showing off wasn’t a very good thing, but her secret is her’s to share. Not Kyle’s. Kyle can disappear and not have to share what he has, but she can share it. She was thrust into a situation that she is barely able to cope with and now she has to be manipulated by Kyle because he’s a pansy-ass, who’s afraid of being extraordinary (this is where, I feel, that HEROES should come in: Sylar should so totally go Medieval on Kyle’s ass). Anyway.
Kyle manipulates Jessi because he is selfish. He wants to keep the nice, comfortable life that he’s living, and he doesn’t care who he hurts or what he has to do to maintain it. He has friends and people that love him and care about him and sacrifice for him and adore him, and he wants to keep it all. Everything he does, he claims is for the greater good, no matter if it isn’t actually good for everyone. He holds to this belief that his moral compass is straighter than everyone’s, when it’s just as fallible as any human being’s. He made that judgment call, even before he was fully conscious, when he downloaded Zzyxx’s mainframe into his mind. Now, if Adam Baylin had still been in charge of the company, would he have even been allowed to complete that action? No, but he still assumed control over something that he had no business attempting to control, regardless of whether or not, the information was right or wrong. He keeps that knowledge locked in his own head, so that he holds all the keys and all the power and if he ever wanted to, could use it against his captors and MadaCorp, or anyone else.
And THEN to add insult to injury from that episode, he has the nerve to sit there and listen to Jessi pour her heart out and then give her some bullshit lesson about how she’s supposed to only ‘be herself’ and everyone will accept her’ crap. Seriously? Because, I can tell you, everything in the world, EVERYTHING, is about that first impression, the way you look and how you act upon that first meeting. Why else is Jessi so demonized if everyone is supposedly suppose to look underneath the surface and see the real you? BULLSHIT! Kyle only told her that crap so that she’d keep her mouth shut and so that his happy little world wouldn’t be ruined, where as her’s could fall the f**k apart. He needs to be needed, and so he creates the situation so that he can continue to be the one everyone leans on.
Now, onto the writers.
They irritate me because it’s not like I can’t see what they’re doing, and it was kind of the reason that I avoided the show in the first place. Let’s get something straight: I don’t like Amanda, and soon as I saw her and her plaintive, woe-is-me looks from the first season’s promos, I knew that I wouldn’t like her character, that the show was going to be some angst-ridden teen drama that ‘Not-Another-Teen-Movie’ was spawned to criticize and make fun of. She’s a stock character as far as I’m concerned, with no backbone to speak of and seems to NEED to be protected from the rest of the world. She has no depth, and nothing that inspires me to think: ‘day-um, that is a sweet character you might say…ROUND!’ She’s a Mary-Sue of epic proportions. She’s a goody-two-shoes, easily taken advantage of stock character, and it’s a pity that she hasn’t been killed off because of her own stupidity. She doesn’t even fight for Kyle when she sees Jessi going for him, she just stands around and whines and cries and THEN, when Kyle says, ‘Oh pity me, oh pity me, I’m the lonely bleeding heart teen that woke up from a pod and doesn’t understand the wrong that I do, forgive me sweet, sweet Amanda! FORGIVEEEEEE MEEE!’ She cries and goes back to him, EVERY TIME.
And, let’s not forget that shoot-me-in-eardrum disgusting music that they play every time she’s around! Every time, I saw it it reminded me of that scene in Not-Another-Teen-Movie, where the girl of everyone’s dreams steps into the room and no one can do ANYTHING until her theme music stops playing and she finally moves on. You know the one, that annoying bitch that just needed to fall down the steps and break her neck? Yea, that one. She’s easily able to be walked over and yet people are enamored with the walking-doormat, claiming that it’s great to see that kind of purity and innocence in a TV character. Okay, okay, purity and all that is well and good, but honesty, how many people go for so-naïve-it’s-sickening? Seriously?
Okay, sorry, I digressed a lot in that last paragraph, what I meant to say was: I hope they didn’t add Jessi as the foil to Kyle and Amanda getting together in the end and Jessi gets the short end of the stick. She’s a character that’s been emotionally and mentally battered and abused, manipulated and screwed over and this is just one more time that the writers can’t seem to utilize her character and make her kick some serious ass. Like, seriously, if Kyle had embarrassed you in front of everyone, I don’t think you’d be willing to hear him out. I think you’d probably kick his ass and then hear his lame ass apology while you tell him: ‘I WON”T LET UP UNTIL YOU GET OFF YOUR HIGH HORSE AND SCREAM ‘UNCLE’!!!’ Or mayhap that’s me.
I mean, don’t get me wrong: they’ve made an extremely complex character with this chica. She has depths, she has the emotional angst that all good storytellers should infuse their characters with; she’s amazing, gorgeous, beautiful and brilliant, but what I always see of her, is that she’s thrust into situations where she comes out last. With Lori and Declan, she actually LIKED Declan. She wanted to be with DECLAN. She didn’t manipulate her way into his life, didn’t sabotage anything, didn’t betray him. Her heart pounded when she met him, she felt genuine feelings for him, but then MadaCorp terminated that when they made her go for Kyle, and the writers terminated it even more when they wrote that bullshit ass storyline and stuck with it. They brought Declan and Lori together (of a sorts) and are pushing Jessi between Kyle and Amanda just to give some romantic tension and drama so that Kyle and Amanda will eventually get back together, get married, have disgustingly chipper, super genius kids, get old and die (good riddance). Of course, Jessi will be the doting “aunt”, who’ll secretly wish for Kyle, but pine for him from afar. Once again, Jessi gets the short end of the stick.
And please, don’t feed me that bullshit about Cassidy. So, all Jessi is good enough for is the evil guy? Let me guess: evil guy sees girl, girl is evil guy’s target, but evil guy—in being around girl—ends up falling for girl, evil guy turns away from life of super top secret evil, gets with girl, both have angsty-guilt-ridden love affair, girl’s super powered counterpart gets mad, super powered counterpart sees error of his ways, girl stays with evil guy, evil guy’s company gets mad, kills evil guy and super powered girl is left all alone once again.
Seriously, that better not happen or I’m raiding the studios and writing this crackpot storyline right: Jessi with Kyle. Amanda with….her piano, Declan and Lori and Josh and Andy, and everyone lives happily every after.
ROUND!
PS: Upon watching the indignity of Jessi getting talked down to by Lori in Episode 16 of season 2, I realize that none of these characters understand the trauma that she—Jessi—has to endure and cope with. I get it: Lori got her ass kicked and that was a scary experience, but at least she was in control of herself at the time, at least afterwards, she was still in control of herself; she was able to pick herself up and understand that the actions done were not her fault. HOWEVER, no one seems to want to face up to the fact that Jessi was programmed to be a specific way and that that programming got messed up.
If Lori’s all twisted about her getting her ass handed to her, and then having that be a ‘traumatic experience’, try not even being in control of your own body, never knowing who you are or who you could be at any second because something could go wrong in what someone else did to you that you had no say so in. Try living with the knowledge that at any point in time, you could become a walking killing machine and not even realize or understand that you’d done something wrong until you find out about later when you think you’re this sweet and innocent kid. Try having every memory that you ever thought real or true, being a manufactured by-product of someone else’s sick and twisted game.
/rant…hopefully
1.15.2009
Blessings in disguise....?
Is is jealousy? Or maybe anger? Or is it an unhealthy combination of both? I ask this because I have this unnatural need to look and see, hoping for some scrap of failure or defeat. But there never is anything, and the first rule of a trick is to cast and never look back, knowing beyond all hope or fear or desperation or anger or revenge, that something bad is going to happen; justice is going to be served and life will continue on its natural course, where as the power of the unnatural will reek its havoc.
But all I ever see is good things happening. Good tidings and good everything, where as my life feels like it's about to spiral out of control; like, bad things are just constantly happening and that nothing good will ever occur: I have to figure out how I'm going to pay for car insurance on a car that I probably don't even own any more; how I'm going to get out of debt and find myself a much better apartment; how I'm going to move out of my current place at the end of the month; how I'm going to become an attorney in an economy that's clearly heading towards a depression. So many issues, so many things, so many problems that I'm trying to work out and overcome.
Why me?
But all I ever see is good things happening. Good tidings and good everything, where as my life feels like it's about to spiral out of control; like, bad things are just constantly happening and that nothing good will ever occur: I have to figure out how I'm going to pay for car insurance on a car that I probably don't even own any more; how I'm going to get out of debt and find myself a much better apartment; how I'm going to move out of my current place at the end of the month; how I'm going to become an attorney in an economy that's clearly heading towards a depression. So many issues, so many things, so many problems that I'm trying to work out and overcome.
Why me?
1.09.2009
I Fear What Aphrodite Has Become...
I am really disappointed at the state of beauty nowadays. There are two flipsides to beauty that permeates in the modern age--one that is hidden and the other that is not, but either are intensely disgusting. It might just be my sole opinion though, and not shared by others. Okay, okay, that's true and I verily have to learn that not everyone shares my opinion. My boyfriend most certainly doesn't, and while I can't fault him for that, much to my chagrin...it still...irks me a bit. Anyway, onto the reason why I'm writing this blog: nudity, porn, the modeling industry and the American Dream...
Okay.
Not that last part, but I think it has everything to do with the perverse way that the American culture prohibits/condones sex. Like: you can watch near porn acts on television, but if you try to teach high schoolers proper sexual behavior, the parents, MAAD and other PC-organizations get steaming mad. You can't have it both ways, people!
Alright, so I'm watching MTV and VH1, and slowly feeling like my brain cells are dying and I realized, nobody cares about beauty as it used to be. No, I can hear the echo of thousand 'd'uhs', but it's true, and in our desensitization of watching television, paying attention to the media-driven machine, we seem to have forgotten what real beauty is, and now worship venerable walking strippers and porn stars. Rock of Love, Flavor of Love and Real Chance at Love are poor examples, but then again, they are probably the best examples to show how fucked up the US of A has become. These shows, or the channels that these shows are on rather, were the leaders of the entertainement industry. They spoke to the disenfranchised youth, the loners, the nerds and the punk-rock-wannabes. They spoke to a generation of whose parents could no understand. And if we are to still hold those above stated facts as true, then don't these channels still reflect the youth of today: the 'ME' mentality that permeates the generation of our parents and ourselves and even our younger siblings.
Teeny-boppers are now dressing like they're twenty-year-olds, sexual deviancy is condoned, teachers sleeping with barely legal students and getting off easy for it. All kinds of random craziness and it's like everything's going to hell. People have lost their values and have lost their moral compass, but then sometimes...I think people never had moral compasses in the first place and that 'JESUS' was just a pipe dream. Beauty is stripped naked, dashed with hot oil, teased up to look like a burned-out hooker with bleached blonde hair and a disproportionate figure, and people were harping about how bad Barbie is to their children?
In my mind's eye, I see what beauty used to be. I see beauty as a woman's power, I see it as one of her many mysteries, bespeaking of power and authority in the most simple gestures. Forgive me if I think of a Geisha or a cocubine. These women were beauty to me. They didn't let you see their secrets, they never looked ruffle, they never showed you anymore skin then what you deserved and they never, never, never did it out in public where they will forever be immortalized as that "chick that showed everyone her boobs at Mardi Gras". No, no, when you think of Geisha, you automatically have a romanticized view of what their lives were like, of the polished woman that was educated and could match wits with any man, who could be both confidante and sexual mistress.
Nowadays, you don't find that. You find bimbos with huge boobs parading around as if this is what makes them appealing and unfortunately, it is. By today's standards anyway. You can find strip clubs, where even the dances are even alluring anymore. And these horrible dances, where the woman opens her legs wide and shows a man everything and leaves NOTHING to the imagination, are what draws people--men--flocking to these sinfilled meccas to waist both precious time and money, on hoes. There. I said it. Hoes. Because nothing good is EVER thought about strippers and the like. When you think of concubines, you think of the Arabic beauties that charmed their men with their sultry dances, with their ability to wrestle mentality and sway their men to their points-of-view with their mastery of wit. Instead, men are too busy wanting to have their shit handed to them instead of working for it.
This world saddens me.
(BTW, I said strip clubs, not gentlemen's clubs...there is a BIG difference between the two....well, actually...not really as one is just a higher class of tittie bar...in the end though, they're just tittie bars).
Anyway, I have many things to discuss on this issue. MAybe it's my own insecurities...Maybe, I really do have a green-eyed monster wanting to take me in its fold and pervert my sight. Who knows?
I rememeber watching the movie Serenity and its television show, Firefly, and seeing the character of Imara. Now, she wasn't my favorite (I liked Wash, Shepherd Book, Jayne and Kaylee), but I did admire her. She wasn't the prettiest on the show (that honor goes to Gina Torres), but she had a subtle beauty that she added to the character because of the fact that the character of Imara had the intelligence, knowledge and capability of a woman trained in her craft and didn't just give it up easily. No, no, there were morals and principles that needed to be upheld and that's what made her a galaxy-famous Companion. She didn't just give it up to the men, and women, that she catered to, she let them wait for it, charmed them, made them want her services, and even want her as a person because of what she presented and how she presented. She left much to the imagination and let her client's minds do the rest.
In the old days, these women were the only ones that were educated. In the old days, these women were worshipped as being sacred to the gods. In the old days, these women--while not always being respected--knew how to command power.
LEt's take for instance, the late Eartha Kitt. Even to this day, when you see pictures of her from her youth 'til now, the woman had spunk, she had pizazz, she had all of the makings of a mondern Geisha, and point blank, she didn't let it all hang out for the world to see. She charmed men with her inner beauty as well as her outer beauty. She commanded her lovers, charmed her haters and made herself a much loved figure amongst fans and critics alike. Women should aspire to her image. Should erect her as the modern day Venus because in my mind, that's what beauty was. She was flirtatious and promiscuous, but she never let herself be defined by it. She let people see her as a foul-mouthed smartass, but also knew how to peruse the murky waters of life and public opinion to become a star known for her talent and not just her personal life.
And this doesn't come from the mouth of a Conservative Christian, or anything like that. This comes from someone who is tired of those girls who are clearly whorish and skanks and low-class getting good men and then turning said good men into asshats because the dumb-ass-testerone-driven-morons can't let go of easy pussy. Now, I'm not saying that a woman can't have sex, be sexual, sensual or even promiscuous if that's her thing, but have some class, and the unfortunate thing that also comes into play with my disguntled blog about beauty is culture and culturalism that often make people believe one thing being true for one person is, unfortunately believed, to be true for everyone.
For example: I suppose most people who view me see me as an African-American. Fair enough, the bulk of my blood is African-American. I profess proudly that I am an American of African-descent. HOWEVER, I refuse to not acknowledge that my father is a mixed breed with Puerto Rican, German, Hebrew, Scottish and Cherokee Indian. My mother's family is Black and Cherokee Indian. If you looked at me, you could clearly tell that I was mixed with something because if I weren't I wouldn't be considered 'light-skinned'. Although, unlike the BULK of my people, I don't think that certain things are beautiful like a girl with a fat ass or big breasts. I personally think that a girl or guy with multiple piercings, tattoos and what not are cute, gorgeous, beautiful. I've found myself falling more so for the odd looking guy with multi-colored hair, mohawks, fauxhawks, spikes, shaved heads, gadged ears and other such oddities. Guys who were probably the craziest looking bunch who's short a few apples from a full tree.
I've dated a Satanist, a goth who was in ROTC, fell for a pothead, an Irishmen, a German, a half-Thai who was into a partial rock culture, and others. I've even entertained the idea of getting with a girl named Sarah, with--of course--multi-colored hair. So, my idea of beauty is different: corsets, torn jeans, fishnets, studded gloves and jackets, all kinds of weird, funky things, Afrocentric things, bondage pants, all kinds of things like that. But regardless, even with these things, I hold to my same standard. Hell, it might even be that I'm a Libra-y Libra, and that I'm feeling the pains of not being in my own apartment and being able to do the things that I'd usually do to keep myself to what I believe is beautiful for me as a person. I'm at my boyfriend's house and there are things I know I can't do, like take a 30 minute shower, or occupy the bathroom for an hour because that's what I do: I clean, then I dress, I apply make-up, I apply accessories if necessary, I apply lotions perfume and the like, then I check to make sure the over all look is good before slipping on my shoes and being off.
Who knows?
I'm just disappointed, and it probably also has something to do with disappointment at my boyfriend for his obviously horrible choices in females before me. I guess, because they've all been pretty (except for the hood-rats that I've heard aout), but really damn selfish and just...hoebags (<- it's the best I could think of), and it makes me wonder if that's why he got with me because I'm some kind of undercover 'hoebag'? I don't know.
Whatever.
/rant
Okay.
Not that last part, but I think it has everything to do with the perverse way that the American culture prohibits/condones sex. Like: you can watch near porn acts on television, but if you try to teach high schoolers proper sexual behavior, the parents, MAAD and other PC-organizations get steaming mad. You can't have it both ways, people!
Alright, so I'm watching MTV and VH1, and slowly feeling like my brain cells are dying and I realized, nobody cares about beauty as it used to be. No, I can hear the echo of thousand 'd'uhs', but it's true, and in our desensitization of watching television, paying attention to the media-driven machine, we seem to have forgotten what real beauty is, and now worship venerable walking strippers and porn stars. Rock of Love, Flavor of Love and Real Chance at Love are poor examples, but then again, they are probably the best examples to show how fucked up the US of A has become. These shows, or the channels that these shows are on rather, were the leaders of the entertainement industry. They spoke to the disenfranchised youth, the loners, the nerds and the punk-rock-wannabes. They spoke to a generation of whose parents could no understand. And if we are to still hold those above stated facts as true, then don't these channels still reflect the youth of today: the 'ME' mentality that permeates the generation of our parents and ourselves and even our younger siblings.
Teeny-boppers are now dressing like they're twenty-year-olds, sexual deviancy is condoned, teachers sleeping with barely legal students and getting off easy for it. All kinds of random craziness and it's like everything's going to hell. People have lost their values and have lost their moral compass, but then sometimes...I think people never had moral compasses in the first place and that 'JESUS' was just a pipe dream. Beauty is stripped naked, dashed with hot oil, teased up to look like a burned-out hooker with bleached blonde hair and a disproportionate figure, and people were harping about how bad Barbie is to their children?
In my mind's eye, I see what beauty used to be. I see beauty as a woman's power, I see it as one of her many mysteries, bespeaking of power and authority in the most simple gestures. Forgive me if I think of a Geisha or a cocubine. These women were beauty to me. They didn't let you see their secrets, they never looked ruffle, they never showed you anymore skin then what you deserved and they never, never, never did it out in public where they will forever be immortalized as that "chick that showed everyone her boobs at Mardi Gras". No, no, when you think of Geisha, you automatically have a romanticized view of what their lives were like, of the polished woman that was educated and could match wits with any man, who could be both confidante and sexual mistress.
Nowadays, you don't find that. You find bimbos with huge boobs parading around as if this is what makes them appealing and unfortunately, it is. By today's standards anyway. You can find strip clubs, where even the dances are even alluring anymore. And these horrible dances, where the woman opens her legs wide and shows a man everything and leaves NOTHING to the imagination, are what draws people--men--flocking to these sinfilled meccas to waist both precious time and money, on hoes. There. I said it. Hoes. Because nothing good is EVER thought about strippers and the like. When you think of concubines, you think of the Arabic beauties that charmed their men with their sultry dances, with their ability to wrestle mentality and sway their men to their points-of-view with their mastery of wit. Instead, men are too busy wanting to have their shit handed to them instead of working for it.
This world saddens me.
(BTW, I said strip clubs, not gentlemen's clubs...there is a BIG difference between the two....well, actually...not really as one is just a higher class of tittie bar...in the end though, they're just tittie bars).
Anyway, I have many things to discuss on this issue. MAybe it's my own insecurities...Maybe, I really do have a green-eyed monster wanting to take me in its fold and pervert my sight. Who knows?
I rememeber watching the movie Serenity and its television show, Firefly, and seeing the character of Imara. Now, she wasn't my favorite (I liked Wash, Shepherd Book, Jayne and Kaylee), but I did admire her. She wasn't the prettiest on the show (that honor goes to Gina Torres), but she had a subtle beauty that she added to the character because of the fact that the character of Imara had the intelligence, knowledge and capability of a woman trained in her craft and didn't just give it up easily. No, no, there were morals and principles that needed to be upheld and that's what made her a galaxy-famous Companion. She didn't just give it up to the men, and women, that she catered to, she let them wait for it, charmed them, made them want her services, and even want her as a person because of what she presented and how she presented. She left much to the imagination and let her client's minds do the rest.
In the old days, these women were the only ones that were educated. In the old days, these women were worshipped as being sacred to the gods. In the old days, these women--while not always being respected--knew how to command power.
LEt's take for instance, the late Eartha Kitt. Even to this day, when you see pictures of her from her youth 'til now, the woman had spunk, she had pizazz, she had all of the makings of a mondern Geisha, and point blank, she didn't let it all hang out for the world to see. She charmed men with her inner beauty as well as her outer beauty. She commanded her lovers, charmed her haters and made herself a much loved figure amongst fans and critics alike. Women should aspire to her image. Should erect her as the modern day Venus because in my mind, that's what beauty was. She was flirtatious and promiscuous, but she never let herself be defined by it. She let people see her as a foul-mouthed smartass, but also knew how to peruse the murky waters of life and public opinion to become a star known for her talent and not just her personal life.
And this doesn't come from the mouth of a Conservative Christian, or anything like that. This comes from someone who is tired of those girls who are clearly whorish and skanks and low-class getting good men and then turning said good men into asshats because the dumb-ass-testerone-driven-morons can't let go of easy pussy. Now, I'm not saying that a woman can't have sex, be sexual, sensual or even promiscuous if that's her thing, but have some class, and the unfortunate thing that also comes into play with my disguntled blog about beauty is culture and culturalism that often make people believe one thing being true for one person is, unfortunately believed, to be true for everyone.
For example: I suppose most people who view me see me as an African-American. Fair enough, the bulk of my blood is African-American. I profess proudly that I am an American of African-descent. HOWEVER, I refuse to not acknowledge that my father is a mixed breed with Puerto Rican, German, Hebrew, Scottish and Cherokee Indian. My mother's family is Black and Cherokee Indian. If you looked at me, you could clearly tell that I was mixed with something because if I weren't I wouldn't be considered 'light-skinned'. Although, unlike the BULK of my people, I don't think that certain things are beautiful like a girl with a fat ass or big breasts. I personally think that a girl or guy with multiple piercings, tattoos and what not are cute, gorgeous, beautiful. I've found myself falling more so for the odd looking guy with multi-colored hair, mohawks, fauxhawks, spikes, shaved heads, gadged ears and other such oddities. Guys who were probably the craziest looking bunch who's short a few apples from a full tree.
I've dated a Satanist, a goth who was in ROTC, fell for a pothead, an Irishmen, a German, a half-Thai who was into a partial rock culture, and others. I've even entertained the idea of getting with a girl named Sarah, with--of course--multi-colored hair. So, my idea of beauty is different: corsets, torn jeans, fishnets, studded gloves and jackets, all kinds of weird, funky things, Afrocentric things, bondage pants, all kinds of things like that. But regardless, even with these things, I hold to my same standard. Hell, it might even be that I'm a Libra-y Libra, and that I'm feeling the pains of not being in my own apartment and being able to do the things that I'd usually do to keep myself to what I believe is beautiful for me as a person. I'm at my boyfriend's house and there are things I know I can't do, like take a 30 minute shower, or occupy the bathroom for an hour because that's what I do: I clean, then I dress, I apply make-up, I apply accessories if necessary, I apply lotions perfume and the like, then I check to make sure the over all look is good before slipping on my shoes and being off.
Who knows?
I'm just disappointed, and it probably also has something to do with disappointment at my boyfriend for his obviously horrible choices in females before me. I guess, because they've all been pretty (except for the hood-rats that I've heard aout), but really damn selfish and just...hoebags (<- it's the best I could think of), and it makes me wonder if that's why he got with me because I'm some kind of undercover 'hoebag'? I don't know.
Whatever.
/rant
1.08.2009
Back-dated Entry: Happy New Years! Now, let's get down to business...
I really don't understand this article...I'm sorry documentary. In all, it's bullcrap, and here's why:
Basically, the doc is called 'Black Women Walking', or something like that, and it details the experiences that at least four or five black women (and one white woman; let's not leave her out) have in reference to black men catcalling and 'hollering' at them, and just the way black males flirt with their female counterparts in general. I will cite the validaties of the documentary short as well as the inaccuracies, and also comment on some of the comments that were made in reference to the article. You can find the link to that doc here.
Now, I get it. As a black female who's dated outside and inside her race, there are BIG differences between the way black males flirt and the way people of other races flirt. Now, I won't say that ALL black males do it because I have definately encountered black males, of ALL walks of life, that have approached me and did the respectful, "Hey, miss, what's your name? My name is such-and-such and I just wanted to let you know that I thought you looked very pretty and wanted to know if I could get to know you?" I can also say without a doubt that I've been the aggressor, at times, flirting shamelessly because...well...let's face it: when I'm at my personal best, I am a bit of a flirt...
There. I said it.
However, in listening to this documentary and reading some of the responses, both the mature and immature ones, I will say this one thing: black males DO have the market cornered on the way they can be very disrespectful in flirtation. I have experienced it, but then again, my scope of the human condition is very limited. I can only go by what has happened in my own personal life and not what has happened in others. I will say this: it is according to what type of group you aspire to hang with and where in any given city you chill. If you chill in areas where the thuggish types are in high abundance, you typically get the asshats that don't understand the concept of how to approach a woman. However, if you're in a moderately to highly educated area (I say the suburbs, and I mean the clean suburbs, not those places where the mini-thugs chill), you'll find young men willing to approach like how you wish to be approached. Not only that, but it also matters with how you carry yourself: if you carry yourself like a hoe and where a hoe's uniform, well...
Now, there are ALWAYS exceptions to the rules: such as quietly riding the public transit bus or train, minding your own business and a brotha dressed in a business suit has the thuggish attitude, where he thinks he can get what he wants merely because he's getting paid or you could encounter the one that looks like a thug, but has the swagga of a college kid and has a good head on his shoulders.
Anyway, let's dissect the first half of the issue: the disrespect that is paid to black women. Now, as a black woman, my opinion is biased. I do not grow up with a man's outlook in this world. I can only do me. So, in my opinion, and from my experiences, black men are more overt with their disrespect. They can say the most ignorant things, expect you to respond and then get pissed off if they don't get the response that they want. They try all types of ways to get your attention, some of which are just down right rude and dangerous. The strategy of driving up right next to a woman and honking their horns and catcalling out their windows: dis-re-spect-ful, and dangerous in the sense that if the woman feels threatened, you're being brought up on charges of sexual harrasment. Seriously, do something with yourselves.
Now, men of other races can be just as disrespectful, I have been told. I've never experienced this. I've mostly encountered men of other races who are much more respectful. With my ex, he didn't even start getting sexual with me unti I said it was okay. Other than that, our conversations were surprisingly G-rated. Even the other few sexual encounters I've had...not disrespectful. Nothing turned sexual until I said so. HOWEVER, in contrast to that and the feeling that white guys are most respectful: they have a tendency of being subtle with their disrespect, being a bit demeaning in their own way so that you know EXACTLY what they think of you. Like I've said before: this is not the case with all of them, as some whitey-hatin-neo-black-panthers would have you believe. They are not all white devils that these people paint them to be; some of them are quite nice. We've got to get out of that slave mentality in general: stop thinking of white people as devils (it gives them a power that they don't have) and stop thinking of them as gods that walk the Earth. Either way, they are just people and while their ancestors did horrible things, it's not like Africans too didn't rape, pillage, kill, murder, cheat, lie and disenfranchise their own kind too.
I think I explained my second point to this documentary in the above paragraph so...huh...nothing much left. Well, flirtation styles are different. Like I said, black men are overt, but--in my opinion--other races are not so overt. Usually, people that I've dated got to know me first and then whatever happened and proceeded. Usually, more than one person too. But, I've usually started out getting to know a person.
Except in this current relationship. All that kind of...flew out the window...LMAO!!!
Basically, the doc is called 'Black Women Walking', or something like that, and it details the experiences that at least four or five black women (and one white woman; let's not leave her out) have in reference to black men catcalling and 'hollering' at them, and just the way black males flirt with their female counterparts in general. I will cite the validaties of the documentary short as well as the inaccuracies, and also comment on some of the comments that were made in reference to the article. You can find the link to that doc here.
Now, I get it. As a black female who's dated outside and inside her race, there are BIG differences between the way black males flirt and the way people of other races flirt. Now, I won't say that ALL black males do it because I have definately encountered black males, of ALL walks of life, that have approached me and did the respectful, "Hey, miss, what's your name? My name is such-and-such and I just wanted to let you know that I thought you looked very pretty and wanted to know if I could get to know you?" I can also say without a doubt that I've been the aggressor, at times, flirting shamelessly because...well...let's face it: when I'm at my personal best, I am a bit of a flirt...
There. I said it.
However, in listening to this documentary and reading some of the responses, both the mature and immature ones, I will say this one thing: black males DO have the market cornered on the way they can be very disrespectful in flirtation. I have experienced it, but then again, my scope of the human condition is very limited. I can only go by what has happened in my own personal life and not what has happened in others. I will say this: it is according to what type of group you aspire to hang with and where in any given city you chill. If you chill in areas where the thuggish types are in high abundance, you typically get the asshats that don't understand the concept of how to approach a woman. However, if you're in a moderately to highly educated area (I say the suburbs, and I mean the clean suburbs, not those places where the mini-thugs chill), you'll find young men willing to approach like how you wish to be approached. Not only that, but it also matters with how you carry yourself: if you carry yourself like a hoe and where a hoe's uniform, well...
Now, there are ALWAYS exceptions to the rules: such as quietly riding the public transit bus or train, minding your own business and a brotha dressed in a business suit has the thuggish attitude, where he thinks he can get what he wants merely because he's getting paid or you could encounter the one that looks like a thug, but has the swagga of a college kid and has a good head on his shoulders.
Anyway, let's dissect the first half of the issue: the disrespect that is paid to black women. Now, as a black woman, my opinion is biased. I do not grow up with a man's outlook in this world. I can only do me. So, in my opinion, and from my experiences, black men are more overt with their disrespect. They can say the most ignorant things, expect you to respond and then get pissed off if they don't get the response that they want. They try all types of ways to get your attention, some of which are just down right rude and dangerous. The strategy of driving up right next to a woman and honking their horns and catcalling out their windows: dis-re-spect-ful, and dangerous in the sense that if the woman feels threatened, you're being brought up on charges of sexual harrasment. Seriously, do something with yourselves.
Now, men of other races can be just as disrespectful, I have been told. I've never experienced this. I've mostly encountered men of other races who are much more respectful. With my ex, he didn't even start getting sexual with me unti I said it was okay. Other than that, our conversations were surprisingly G-rated. Even the other few sexual encounters I've had...not disrespectful. Nothing turned sexual until I said so. HOWEVER, in contrast to that and the feeling that white guys are most respectful: they have a tendency of being subtle with their disrespect, being a bit demeaning in their own way so that you know EXACTLY what they think of you. Like I've said before: this is not the case with all of them, as some whitey-hatin-neo-black-panthers would have you believe. They are not all white devils that these people paint them to be; some of them are quite nice. We've got to get out of that slave mentality in general: stop thinking of white people as devils (it gives them a power that they don't have) and stop thinking of them as gods that walk the Earth. Either way, they are just people and while their ancestors did horrible things, it's not like Africans too didn't rape, pillage, kill, murder, cheat, lie and disenfranchise their own kind too.
I think I explained my second point to this documentary in the above paragraph so...huh...nothing much left. Well, flirtation styles are different. Like I said, black men are overt, but--in my opinion--other races are not so overt. Usually, people that I've dated got to know me first and then whatever happened and proceeded. Usually, more than one person too. But, I've usually started out getting to know a person.
Except in this current relationship. All that kind of...flew out the window...LMAO!!!
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