12.24.2008
12.23.2008
I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU THAT HURTS
All day today. Lying isn't the most fun a girl can have...sometimes, it hurts when you do it to yourself.
12.18.2008
Which Way To Murder
I'm irritated. What else is new? I don't know...you actually I do know why I'm irritated, I just don't know how to express what is pissing me off right now. Strippers, stripclubs and my current boyfriend's need to discuss with me his feelings, thoughts, recollections and reflections on why he likes them and would probably like to visit them again in the future (this is all just conjecture though. I'm not sure if he'd actually disrespect this relationship by doing so because if he did, he'd be out the damn door faster than you could saw: "WTF?"). Anyway, on numerous talks we've had--and I'm trying not to be the type of girlfriend that says, "HEY, can you PLEASE stop talking about this shit? I really don't give a damn." In that sense of giving a damn as in, I don't like to hear you talk about this type stuff because it either makes me uncomfortable or mad as hell--he tells me how he had a predilection of going to strip clubs and that in the span of maybe a month, he literally forked over 600.00 dollars.
Blink.
Come again. Six hundred damn dollars, and you can just hear the wistful sound to his voice, a kind of those-were-the-days type sound that makes me want to ball up my first and punch him one good time in the mouth. AND THEN, he makes the oh-so-stupid mistake of telling about him wanting to get with a stripper and that he doesn't like those particular high class gentlemen's clubs where you're not allowed to touch the strippers and I'm just thinking, "Oi vey, shut up already." But I don't say anything of this to him; I feel he should have the ability to express his feelings on specific subjects.
Sigh.
And the only real reason this has come up is because a friend of his girlfriend is going to take said friend out to a strip club for his birthday, and this friend wanted to know if my boyfriend wanted to come. Funnily enough, now that I think about it, said friend did NOT ask whether or not my boyfriend wanted to bring me either. No, no, what my boyfriend said was, "I'll call you back on that decision." Hung up the phone and THEN asked me if I wanted to tag along. Kudos to him for being smart enough to tell me, minus the kudos for me having to recall: "OH YEAH, this is that friend who is sleeping around with a woman who is ENGAGED. YEAH, that's awesome! Let's all go out and chill with the two cheating skanks and have a jolly wonderful time!"
Esta puthamadre baboso.
But that's not the only thing I'm irritated about. Oh no. I'm also irritated that somehow last night we got into the discussion of living together and he somehow thought that it was a bright idea to get a two bedroom so that he can his own room and I can have mine.
Blink. Blink.
Sometimes, I want to ask him where his head is at and whether or not there is a filter that SHOULD be operational in his head that says to him: "Uh-uh, don't say that!" Because when he makes statements like that it makes me wonder, where the hell is your head at? Why do you let sheer stupid come out of your mouth without asking yourself if that's the brightest or dumbest idea you've had this century? What the hell?
I get it. Life isn't a fairy tale and certain things don't go as you plan, but I've always thought that when I got into a relationship with someone there'd be somethings that would just be done formally: meeting of the parents for example, formal; getting asked to move-in, formal; meeting the friends, formal. And mayhap it's just my overly romantic side, but you know, not alot of that has happened. Last relationship, didn't meet the parents formally: it was kind of like,"Hey! Here you go!" This time around, kind of the same difference. What is it about me that just makes people think: "Hey! Here you go!"
But this isn't the only thing. The apartment situation is erking me because it's just that I when I said, "What do you mean 'two bedroom'?" He was all like, "Well you know, it could be like us having our own apartment and when you wanted to come by..." And after that my brain only heard "blah blah blah blah..blah blah...blah blah blah...blah blah..." And I'm just thinking, WTH? I pass it off as a joke, but after my brain has gotten the chance to go over it, it's kind of like: "WTF?" Why do he say things like that to me? Where is his head at in this relationship?
I should've realized that this is a bad relationship to be in because my Mom likes him. Every time my mom liked someone, they always turned out to having some part of them that is severely lacking in something.
Like Tuesday for example. It was supposed to be OUR day: he said we were going to a movie and have dinner, and I'm all bubbly saying in my head: "YAY!!! Finally!" But then that Monday, surprise sur-frickin-prise, his friend Lamonte got to tag along too, so that on that Tuesday there was no back-up plan as to what we were supposed to do and my friend Shari was feeling sick (when does this girl NEVER S.T.O.P. needing my help) and I had to take her to the hospital because she wasn't sure if she was pregnant or not (and yet the moron doesn't seem like she needs to use a condom when having sex because she doesn't like them; okay. Blink. Frickin-blink. WHAT?!!! If you get knocked the fuck up then it's your own damn fault, huh?), so I didn't get my day with him and he once again got to chill with his friends and play video games and chill with that fucking girl and her fucking mother and I'm getting fucking irritated. More on that later. I didn't say no to that Monday-even though I wanted to, but like I said: not mean and I'm not one to deny another person their happiness no matter how pissed off I may get or ho much I want to say 'no'; WALKING DOORMAT HERE, PEOPLE-because I figured he would've had a back-up plan. Nope! He had no clue as to what we were going to do, even though he said, "Nope, that Tuesday's just going to be you and me."
Now look at me, I'm getting all worked up again and angry.
Huff.
And there are other sheer stupid that comes out of his mouth, other things that he'll say that makes me wonder why the fuck am I here. Like, he'd tell me about his relationship with his ex, and my mind is like a sponge people, so when I hear these things I'm going to remember them when say something similar comes up and I think, "Huh, so you could buy this bitch a car, but if I want something tiny done, we have a problem? You can let this bitch stay at your apartment, run up your bills, fuck UP your credit and you two argue all the damn time, but if *I* want something tiny, we have a problem?" WHAT THE FUCK?!!!
Maybe I'm not being fair.
Maybe I'm exploding all of these flaws because I'm used to being treated like I'm the only one that matters, that while I'm in your room, you're not going to be blatantly looking at your ex girlfriend's Myspace page where I can clearly see, that you're not recieving random phone calls from whoever-the-goodly-fuck at 3am in the morning, and most importantly, you are NOT going to think it's appropriate to let them girl you WERE fucking with to do the hair of the girl you are CURRENTLY fucking with.
It's that filter I was talking about.
Geez!
Not only that, but then my mom tells him last night when she saw my hair and that it's gotten shorter (horrible cutting hair mistake of mine, but it needed to be cut anyway, and she suggested me cutting it and starting over), that I used to have such long hair when I was a kid and that it used to be so good and awesome before my coursins cut it and my aunt put a straightener relaxer thing in my hair. So, as we're in the car driving back to his house, he's all like: "I would've been so much more attracted you if you had longer hair." And I'm like, "WTF?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (read: I'm going to grab this wheel and drive this car into a ditch). He appologized, of course, telling, but I am attracted to you! And I laugh it off because that's just how I am, it didn't hurt until well, it brings up the fact that I never talk about his shortcomings or tell him: "I'd be SOOOOOO much more attracted to you if you were taller or were well built like say Steve Yoo." I aceept the way he looks because it's fine for me, he looks good to me, he's beautiful to me. I don't need some stripper to puff me up and talk to me to make me feel good about myself, I don't need to do any of that becase I KNOW who I am and what I am, but when you're significant other says something about apart of you that you are pretty proud of, or are vain about, or are a little unsure about, it kind of hurts.
/rant
Blink.
Come again. Six hundred damn dollars, and you can just hear the wistful sound to his voice, a kind of those-were-the-days type sound that makes me want to ball up my first and punch him one good time in the mouth. AND THEN, he makes the oh-so-stupid mistake of telling about him wanting to get with a stripper and that he doesn't like those particular high class gentlemen's clubs where you're not allowed to touch the strippers and I'm just thinking, "Oi vey, shut up already." But I don't say anything of this to him; I feel he should have the ability to express his feelings on specific subjects.
Sigh.
And the only real reason this has come up is because a friend of his girlfriend is going to take said friend out to a strip club for his birthday, and this friend wanted to know if my boyfriend wanted to come. Funnily enough, now that I think about it, said friend did NOT ask whether or not my boyfriend wanted to bring me either. No, no, what my boyfriend said was, "I'll call you back on that decision." Hung up the phone and THEN asked me if I wanted to tag along. Kudos to him for being smart enough to tell me, minus the kudos for me having to recall: "OH YEAH, this is that friend who is sleeping around with a woman who is ENGAGED. YEAH, that's awesome! Let's all go out and chill with the two cheating skanks and have a jolly wonderful time!"
Esta puthamadre baboso.
But that's not the only thing I'm irritated about. Oh no. I'm also irritated that somehow last night we got into the discussion of living together and he somehow thought that it was a bright idea to get a two bedroom so that he can his own room and I can have mine.
Blink. Blink.
Sometimes, I want to ask him where his head is at and whether or not there is a filter that SHOULD be operational in his head that says to him: "Uh-uh, don't say that!" Because when he makes statements like that it makes me wonder, where the hell is your head at? Why do you let sheer stupid come out of your mouth without asking yourself if that's the brightest or dumbest idea you've had this century? What the hell?
I get it. Life isn't a fairy tale and certain things don't go as you plan, but I've always thought that when I got into a relationship with someone there'd be somethings that would just be done formally: meeting of the parents for example, formal; getting asked to move-in, formal; meeting the friends, formal. And mayhap it's just my overly romantic side, but you know, not alot of that has happened. Last relationship, didn't meet the parents formally: it was kind of like,"Hey! Here you go!" This time around, kind of the same difference. What is it about me that just makes people think: "Hey! Here you go!"
But this isn't the only thing. The apartment situation is erking me because it's just that I when I said, "What do you mean 'two bedroom'?" He was all like, "Well you know, it could be like us having our own apartment and when you wanted to come by..." And after that my brain only heard "blah blah blah blah..blah blah...blah blah blah...blah blah..." And I'm just thinking, WTH? I pass it off as a joke, but after my brain has gotten the chance to go over it, it's kind of like: "WTF?" Why do he say things like that to me? Where is his head at in this relationship?
I should've realized that this is a bad relationship to be in because my Mom likes him. Every time my mom liked someone, they always turned out to having some part of them that is severely lacking in something.
Like Tuesday for example. It was supposed to be OUR day: he said we were going to a movie and have dinner, and I'm all bubbly saying in my head: "YAY!!! Finally!" But then that Monday, surprise sur-frickin-prise, his friend Lamonte got to tag along too, so that on that Tuesday there was no back-up plan as to what we were supposed to do and my friend Shari was feeling sick (when does this girl NEVER S.T.O.P. needing my help) and I had to take her to the hospital because she wasn't sure if she was pregnant or not (and yet the moron doesn't seem like she needs to use a condom when having sex because she doesn't like them; okay. Blink. Frickin-blink. WHAT?!!! If you get knocked the fuck up then it's your own damn fault, huh?), so I didn't get my day with him and he once again got to chill with his friends and play video games and chill with that fucking girl and her fucking mother and I'm getting fucking irritated. More on that later. I didn't say no to that Monday-even though I wanted to, but like I said: not mean and I'm not one to deny another person their happiness no matter how pissed off I may get or ho much I want to say 'no'; WALKING DOORMAT HERE, PEOPLE-because I figured he would've had a back-up plan. Nope! He had no clue as to what we were going to do, even though he said, "Nope, that Tuesday's just going to be you and me."
Now look at me, I'm getting all worked up again and angry.
Huff.
And there are other sheer stupid that comes out of his mouth, other things that he'll say that makes me wonder why the fuck am I here. Like, he'd tell me about his relationship with his ex, and my mind is like a sponge people, so when I hear these things I'm going to remember them when say something similar comes up and I think, "Huh, so you could buy this bitch a car, but if I want something tiny done, we have a problem? You can let this bitch stay at your apartment, run up your bills, fuck UP your credit and you two argue all the damn time, but if *I* want something tiny, we have a problem?" WHAT THE FUCK?!!!
Maybe I'm not being fair.
Maybe I'm exploding all of these flaws because I'm used to being treated like I'm the only one that matters, that while I'm in your room, you're not going to be blatantly looking at your ex girlfriend's Myspace page where I can clearly see, that you're not recieving random phone calls from whoever-the-goodly-fuck at 3am in the morning, and most importantly, you are NOT going to think it's appropriate to let them girl you WERE fucking with to do the hair of the girl you are CURRENTLY fucking with.
It's that filter I was talking about.
Geez!
Not only that, but then my mom tells him last night when she saw my hair and that it's gotten shorter (horrible cutting hair mistake of mine, but it needed to be cut anyway, and she suggested me cutting it and starting over), that I used to have such long hair when I was a kid and that it used to be so good and awesome before my coursins cut it and my aunt put a straightener relaxer thing in my hair. So, as we're in the car driving back to his house, he's all like: "I would've been so much more attracted you if you had longer hair." And I'm like, "WTF?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (read: I'm going to grab this wheel and drive this car into a ditch). He appologized, of course, telling, but I am attracted to you! And I laugh it off because that's just how I am, it didn't hurt until well, it brings up the fact that I never talk about his shortcomings or tell him: "I'd be SOOOOOO much more attracted to you if you were taller or were well built like say Steve Yoo." I aceept the way he looks because it's fine for me, he looks good to me, he's beautiful to me. I don't need some stripper to puff me up and talk to me to make me feel good about myself, I don't need to do any of that becase I KNOW who I am and what I am, but when you're significant other says something about apart of you that you are pretty proud of, or are vain about, or are a little unsure about, it kind of hurts.
/rant
12.03.2008
I Have To Pour It Out Somewhere
I want to murder him. Well, I want to wipe them both from existence, but I'm not willing to sully my karma for either of them, but it all just makes me so angry, and the anger feels like this thing crawling up through me, burning and caustic. It's a thing that just makes me want to set fire to something, punch something, hurt something and it rips apart my self-control to the point where the illusion of my centered-ness is shattered and my heart screams: why?! A woman scorned indeed. I want to make them both hurt and suffer and feel the pain that they've caused, but I NEED to let this go and not let it consume me; it's not worth it. I have too much to do in my life and not enough time. When we are born, life is a slow march onward to death. I've got to get my life on track, be with my boyfriend and enjoy my friends, enjoy the breath that I breathe and the heart that beats steady in my chest. I have to focus on my life path and not do things merely to show someone else how well I'm doing. Life isn't about one-upping other people.
I am beautiful, and I am strong and free and able to do things within the scope of my life that God allows. I'm trying to reconnect and rediscover my faith and my God, who I left behind because of some stupid child. I'm trying to find a peace and calm within my soul so that this anger doesn't tear me up inside or eat at me so that I can't function. I know it's no good to bury it and pretend it doesn't exist, but what else am I to do? I have to let it go. I can't let the Scorpio, or whatever the fuck ails me, to let this gnaw at me and my life. I want to figure out how to be free of this emotional menace. They say that you don't actually get over your first, and that's cool. Whatever. But, I can't help this sneaking thing that crawls up inside of me that wants and screams for blood. What am I do with that?
What am I to do?
I am beautiful, and I am strong and free and able to do things within the scope of my life that God allows. I'm trying to reconnect and rediscover my faith and my God, who I left behind because of some stupid child. I'm trying to find a peace and calm within my soul so that this anger doesn't tear me up inside or eat at me so that I can't function. I know it's no good to bury it and pretend it doesn't exist, but what else am I to do? I have to let it go. I can't let the Scorpio, or whatever the fuck ails me, to let this gnaw at me and my life. I want to figure out how to be free of this emotional menace. They say that you don't actually get over your first, and that's cool. Whatever. But, I can't help this sneaking thing that crawls up inside of me that wants and screams for blood. What am I do with that?
What am I to do?
11.19.2008
What the Fuck is Up with Straight People Sometimes?
The Original Post: ENTER THE GAY MARRIAGE BAN and the responses of Yahoo!users:
And the response that I didn't get to post cuz it was too long:
I have to admit to what some posters are saying...
Since when did marriage become a 'sacred' right in this country? The divorce rates among supposedly "straight" and "normal" people are through the roof; and I work in a Family Law Office, I should know. We've got more people tearing their families apart for the stupidest reasons, not thinking of their children, their finances or their over all state of being because of such an action. The reason Prop 8 was passed was because too many of those people were thinking with a religious frame of mind when majority of them were not truthfully religious. So many people don on the mask of believing in God when they are the least rightous of all, and then have the nerve to judge a minority of people that--if you think about it in Biblical terms--are doing the LEAST of the sins (whatever happened to getting these damned murderers off the streets, huh? These individuals care less about life and more about ending it, then homosexuals do).The supposed "sin" that they are doing is NOT an automatic death sentence to Hell, and can and WILL be forgiven, if it is in fact a sin at all.
We also have to realize that the US of A, recognizes that there is a seperation of Church and State, and that the people are biased, that is why there exists a checks and balances system. Instead of people complaining that homosexuals were given the right to marry, they should've just moved on with their lives when the Supreme Court deemed it a right for these people to have. And really, what hurt is it doing to anyone? These people are not thrusting their lifestyle upon you. You bring their lifestyle into the limelight by bickering about it and dissecting it. Move on! There are more important things in this country to worry about instead of whether or not these people want to say 'I do' and 'I do'. What are we straights so afraid of? Afraid that the gays will be better at marriage than us? Afraid that they'll raise their children better than us?
I'd say with how graceful the homosexual rights' movement has been these last few decades, it's a wonder that we straights aren't modeling our sense of morals and ethics after these people. You don't see them telling straights how to live their lives, raise their children, spend their taxes. But you mostly see the straights doing that.
And the response that I didn't get to post cuz it was too long:
I have to admit to what some posters are saying...
Since when did marriage become a 'sacred' right in this country? The divorce rates among supposedly "straight" and "normal" people are through the roof; and I work in a Family Law Office, I should know. We've got more people tearing their families apart for the stupidest reasons, not thinking of their children, their finances or their over all state of being because of such an action. The reason Prop 8 was passed was because too many of those people were thinking with a religious frame of mind when majority of them were not truthfully religious. So many people don on the mask of believing in God when they are the least rightous of all, and then have the nerve to judge a minority of people that--if you think about it in Biblical terms--are doing the LEAST of the sins (whatever happened to getting these damned murderers off the streets, huh? These individuals care less about life and more about ending it, then homosexuals do).The supposed "sin" that they are doing is NOT an automatic death sentence to Hell, and can and WILL be forgiven, if it is in fact a sin at all.
We also have to realize that the US of A, recognizes that there is a seperation of Church and State, and that the people are biased, that is why there exists a checks and balances system. Instead of people complaining that homosexuals were given the right to marry, they should've just moved on with their lives when the Supreme Court deemed it a right for these people to have. And really, what hurt is it doing to anyone? These people are not thrusting their lifestyle upon you. You bring their lifestyle into the limelight by bickering about it and dissecting it. Move on! There are more important things in this country to worry about instead of whether or not these people want to say 'I do' and 'I do'. What are we straights so afraid of? Afraid that the gays will be better at marriage than us? Afraid that they'll raise their children better than us?
I'd say with how graceful the homosexual rights' movement has been these last few decades, it's a wonder that we straights aren't modeling our sense of morals and ethics after these people. You don't see them telling straights how to live their lives, raise their children, spend their taxes. But you mostly see the straights doing that.
11.16.2008
Both Sides Now...I've begun a love affair with Joni Mitchell and it's going to last a lifetime
Anyway, I'm mad and then I'm flabbergasted. Mad because of last night and at my boyfriend, and then flabbergasted at Michael Vick.
Okay, so the boyfriend pissed me off because of his just...ARGH!!!!!! Wishy-washy ways when it comes to making a damn decision. I mean...okay, I don't feel like rehashing it. I'm just irritated.
Michael Vick on the other hand, and just celebrities in general who think that just because they are suddenly top shit that they think nothing can or will touch them. Oh how the mighty have fallen. I always wanted to know why, when people get wealthy, they suddenly think that they can get away with things, do things and that the money is just going to keep coming. You have to be responsible with your spending but these people never seem to remember that; unless, of course, you come from old money, but even then...the children born to old money are acting the fool nowadays anyway so what's the fucking point?
Listen to Joni Mitchell and shut the fuck up, bitches.
11.07.2008
Fucking Politcal Correctness...I WANT CANDY
You know what I hate the most about he politically correct system that seems to permeate the world nowadays? Just the sheer niceness and false saccharine feelings that people have to express so as to tip toe and not hurt someone else's feelings. Ys, this is a fucking rant about astrology. You know, I can respect those muthafuckahs that talk about shit that's not politically correct because at least those people are being honest about what they feel, you know? None of this pansy-ass catering to another person's feelings. We're all walking on egg-shells around each other.
So, I'm trying to understand what a Libra Sun-Carpicorn Moon means in my personality and instead of it just telling me the good, the bad and the neutral, all I encounter is flowery-PC bullshit about how I can wield my place of authority like some Arthurian leader and 'manuever people into doing as I think they should." And then it has the nerve to say that that's not a bad thing.
Isn't that just a nice way of saying that I am a manipulative, power-and-control freak bitch? I mean, seriously! When did this shit become so hard to just tell people the truth and not give a shit about trying to spare their damned feelings about the matters at hand. I want to know what my emotions are like when I am a Cap-Moon, not the fucking PC descriptions so as to not hurt my feelings. I'm getting hurt more because I'm confused as hell about how I feel and how to balance it all, and no one will tell me what the FUCK it means!
So, I'm trying to understand what a Libra Sun-Carpicorn Moon means in my personality and instead of it just telling me the good, the bad and the neutral, all I encounter is flowery-PC bullshit about how I can wield my place of authority like some Arthurian leader and 'manuever people into doing as I think they should." And then it has the nerve to say that that's not a bad thing.
Isn't that just a nice way of saying that I am a manipulative, power-and-control freak bitch? I mean, seriously! When did this shit become so hard to just tell people the truth and not give a shit about trying to spare their damned feelings about the matters at hand. I want to know what my emotions are like when I am a Cap-Moon, not the fucking PC descriptions so as to not hurt my feelings. I'm getting hurt more because I'm confused as hell about how I feel and how to balance it all, and no one will tell me what the FUCK it means!
10.29.2008
The Current Political Process, Or How Much More Racist Can This Country Possibly Get...
Oh My, What Obama Really Thinks Of White Folks...Doesn't Everybody?
What McCain Voters Think of Obama, or Racist Hicks from the PA..Givin y'all a shout out from the SOUTH
This current election season has brought out the best, the worst, the immature and the mature, but what it has currently brought out in abundance are the Racists. I figured that, being a sound 22-year-old with a good head on my shoulders and a bright outlook on life, that I would never have seen a minority president in my life time, or my younger brother's lifetime or even my children's life time. I can look around me and see that the people in this country staunchly hold onto the stories that they were told as children, the hatreds that were expressed towards them and those that they expressed towards each other and the inherent hostility that belies any dealings that every race in this country has for each other; no matter that we're all mixed raced, no matter that no one in this country is pure-whatever-type blood. We're all mutts.
However, as stated, this current election process has brought out the ugliness that exists in people. And while it's not just on the side of white people, but other minority groups as well, I think I highlight on white people and their prejudices and hatreds for other races because they really, truly have no reason to hate or have prejudices against other races; after all, not to be cruel, but...white people started it. Now, I've heard the white argument that blacks owned slaves too, and while that maybe the case, race never had anything to do with it. Black people in Africa didn't own a person or mistreat a person because of the fact that their skin was darker, their facial features were different and their language was different from their's. Generally, people that were in the same regions in Africa spoke the same language or a variation of it (I said region, not country). However, when whites invaded Africa and captured peoples and brought them to Europe and America as slaves, they were the ones that first introduced the concept of demeaning another race because they were of another race and ethnicity, not because there was something imperfect about their peoples, no. Merely because their skin was darker and their features different, they considered them somehow less intelligent. Check out the Library of Congress. The books that were written about just these subjects are still in print: in paperback, hardcover and even available as an E-book.
So, that's my first problem with white people. They refuse to believe that they are the reason that many problems in the world arose because of them and their ancestors. And while not all whites are bad, they still bear the mark of what their ancestors have done by not identifying with others, by subtly teaching their children that they are entitled to all the fruits of the earth and other races aren't. They just have this...thing...about them that marks them. It's in their blood, etched into their genetic code, and any minority that's dealt with white people on the dailey knows it and sees it and are irritated by it. Anyway, I've digressed from my original point of this particular post.
I got on youtube and was scrolling through some of the posts of vids for this particular election season and what should catch my eye? A post that a person put up in reference to what McCain voters shout out whenever Obama is mentioned, and it sickens me. Young people and old people, arguing and shouting at the Obama supporters, while simultaneously shouting 'Bomb Obama' and other such alarming remarks, and that even a Democrat was saying that he wasn't going to vote for Obama becuase he doesn't want a black man in office.
That's...depressing.
White people are ONLY seeing the color of his skin. They've forgotten that there is a such thing as needing to have an education in order to even become a Senator: you know, going to Law School, Practicing Law, Getting Elected and what not. It's like they forgot that no matter what you look like, if you're going to take on handling the finances and policies of an ENTIRE state, you've got to have at least some form of education. They don't see where this man is qualified, where he's gone to other countries and made allies, where he's carried himself with dignity and integrity in this process...No, no, no...all they see is his skin color. And yet, they want minorities of all races to be proud to call themselves American, when they are blatantly met with this underlying hostility no matter what college you've graduated from, what honors you've recieved in your lifetime and that no dirty laundry other than a habit for smoking cigarettes has been aired on National Television. I mean, you'd think if they wanted slander his name they could find an illegitimate child, a drug addiction, something. No, all they can say is that because he has friends with opposing views that he clearly shares those views too.
Really, people? REALLY? Is that all you got?
Not only that, but then I clicked on a second post on youtube where it was a clear warning for white people in which some idiot poster was trying to slander Obama because of certain things he said in his book. I must say that whites are grasping for straws. I believe, just about every minority in this country has at least one bad thing to say about whites because white people do it to themselves with their ignorance and their inability to attempt to understand cultures different from their's. And Obama is no different. And he's what? In his mid to late forties? He's grown up during a time when whites were more asshole then they are now, when they were more out in the open with their hostilities for other races. He's seen hatred heaped on him and those he loves, so how is it wrong for him to cite these experiences in his book(s). What? Is he just supposed to forget his life experiences in the face of this election? Is he supposed to forget that those experiences made him who he is? What he is and what he could mean for this country?
I'm not going to say he's a messiah, but he's a breath of fresh air because there's a new perspective that country can get, that this country and its citizens can see. That he can show to everyone: Niggers aren't stupid, ape-like, obnoxious, smelly individuals. Black people are proud, caring, hold to their family values and are intelligent beyond measure. His perspective can shed light on the hostilities that whites have to minorities and the hostilities that minorities have to each other. It's a way to show that skin color shouldn't matter, that we as a species can grow and prosper if we stop trying to figure out ways of alienating each other and come together to build a brighter future.
I just don't understand why whites have troubles identifying with him, and that's the real reason why they hate or dislike him, and other races. They feel like they can't identify with us and they only delve into understanding others at a skin deep level. They never think that we share the same religious, family and core values, that we don't love the same way they do or care the same way they do or feel even the most basic emotions.
They see us as different merely because of the color of our skin and not because of the fact that we have different opinions or different tastes. And it also gets me that whites expect us to be able to identify with them. That when a television show comes on that deals with certain themes--drug culture, for instance--they can't identify with the black face that may be on screen, but put a white guy on screen with the same character and the same lines and they can automatically relate...even if they've never lived in that type of lifestyle or environment. But, we--as minorities--are supposed to agree, supposed to be able to identify with the all white cast of characters, even though not all minorites are blonde haired, blue-eyed and rosy lipped, growing up in a suburbia and spoiled rotten by our parents to be irritating, lifesized Barbie dolls. Seriously, people? Seriously?
Get out of your "safe", "comfortable" damn bubbles and do something with yourselves instead of wallowing in your hatred and prejudice. It just makes your souls ugly.
It disgusts me, but we have a long way to go. This is just the first step.
I wish these people would grow up and take this step with me.
What McCain Voters Think of Obama, or Racist Hicks from the PA..Givin y'all a shout out from the SOUTH
This current election season has brought out the best, the worst, the immature and the mature, but what it has currently brought out in abundance are the Racists. I figured that, being a sound 22-year-old with a good head on my shoulders and a bright outlook on life, that I would never have seen a minority president in my life time, or my younger brother's lifetime or even my children's life time. I can look around me and see that the people in this country staunchly hold onto the stories that they were told as children, the hatreds that were expressed towards them and those that they expressed towards each other and the inherent hostility that belies any dealings that every race in this country has for each other; no matter that we're all mixed raced, no matter that no one in this country is pure-whatever-type blood. We're all mutts.
However, as stated, this current election process has brought out the ugliness that exists in people. And while it's not just on the side of white people, but other minority groups as well, I think I highlight on white people and their prejudices and hatreds for other races because they really, truly have no reason to hate or have prejudices against other races; after all, not to be cruel, but...white people started it. Now, I've heard the white argument that blacks owned slaves too, and while that maybe the case, race never had anything to do with it. Black people in Africa didn't own a person or mistreat a person because of the fact that their skin was darker, their facial features were different and their language was different from their's. Generally, people that were in the same regions in Africa spoke the same language or a variation of it (I said region, not country). However, when whites invaded Africa and captured peoples and brought them to Europe and America as slaves, they were the ones that first introduced the concept of demeaning another race because they were of another race and ethnicity, not because there was something imperfect about their peoples, no. Merely because their skin was darker and their features different, they considered them somehow less intelligent. Check out the Library of Congress. The books that were written about just these subjects are still in print: in paperback, hardcover and even available as an E-book.
So, that's my first problem with white people. They refuse to believe that they are the reason that many problems in the world arose because of them and their ancestors. And while not all whites are bad, they still bear the mark of what their ancestors have done by not identifying with others, by subtly teaching their children that they are entitled to all the fruits of the earth and other races aren't. They just have this...thing...about them that marks them. It's in their blood, etched into their genetic code, and any minority that's dealt with white people on the dailey knows it and sees it and are irritated by it. Anyway, I've digressed from my original point of this particular post.
I got on youtube and was scrolling through some of the posts of vids for this particular election season and what should catch my eye? A post that a person put up in reference to what McCain voters shout out whenever Obama is mentioned, and it sickens me. Young people and old people, arguing and shouting at the Obama supporters, while simultaneously shouting 'Bomb Obama' and other such alarming remarks, and that even a Democrat was saying that he wasn't going to vote for Obama becuase he doesn't want a black man in office.
That's...depressing.
White people are ONLY seeing the color of his skin. They've forgotten that there is a such thing as needing to have an education in order to even become a Senator: you know, going to Law School, Practicing Law, Getting Elected and what not. It's like they forgot that no matter what you look like, if you're going to take on handling the finances and policies of an ENTIRE state, you've got to have at least some form of education. They don't see where this man is qualified, where he's gone to other countries and made allies, where he's carried himself with dignity and integrity in this process...No, no, no...all they see is his skin color. And yet, they want minorities of all races to be proud to call themselves American, when they are blatantly met with this underlying hostility no matter what college you've graduated from, what honors you've recieved in your lifetime and that no dirty laundry other than a habit for smoking cigarettes has been aired on National Television. I mean, you'd think if they wanted slander his name they could find an illegitimate child, a drug addiction, something. No, all they can say is that because he has friends with opposing views that he clearly shares those views too.
Really, people? REALLY? Is that all you got?
Not only that, but then I clicked on a second post on youtube where it was a clear warning for white people in which some idiot poster was trying to slander Obama because of certain things he said in his book. I must say that whites are grasping for straws. I believe, just about every minority in this country has at least one bad thing to say about whites because white people do it to themselves with their ignorance and their inability to attempt to understand cultures different from their's. And Obama is no different. And he's what? In his mid to late forties? He's grown up during a time when whites were more asshole then they are now, when they were more out in the open with their hostilities for other races. He's seen hatred heaped on him and those he loves, so how is it wrong for him to cite these experiences in his book(s). What? Is he just supposed to forget his life experiences in the face of this election? Is he supposed to forget that those experiences made him who he is? What he is and what he could mean for this country?
I'm not going to say he's a messiah, but he's a breath of fresh air because there's a new perspective that country can get, that this country and its citizens can see. That he can show to everyone: Niggers aren't stupid, ape-like, obnoxious, smelly individuals. Black people are proud, caring, hold to their family values and are intelligent beyond measure. His perspective can shed light on the hostilities that whites have to minorities and the hostilities that minorities have to each other. It's a way to show that skin color shouldn't matter, that we as a species can grow and prosper if we stop trying to figure out ways of alienating each other and come together to build a brighter future.
I just don't understand why whites have troubles identifying with him, and that's the real reason why they hate or dislike him, and other races. They feel like they can't identify with us and they only delve into understanding others at a skin deep level. They never think that we share the same religious, family and core values, that we don't love the same way they do or care the same way they do or feel even the most basic emotions.
They see us as different merely because of the color of our skin and not because of the fact that we have different opinions or different tastes. And it also gets me that whites expect us to be able to identify with them. That when a television show comes on that deals with certain themes--drug culture, for instance--they can't identify with the black face that may be on screen, but put a white guy on screen with the same character and the same lines and they can automatically relate...even if they've never lived in that type of lifestyle or environment. But, we--as minorities--are supposed to agree, supposed to be able to identify with the all white cast of characters, even though not all minorites are blonde haired, blue-eyed and rosy lipped, growing up in a suburbia and spoiled rotten by our parents to be irritating, lifesized Barbie dolls. Seriously, people? Seriously?
Get out of your "safe", "comfortable" damn bubbles and do something with yourselves instead of wallowing in your hatred and prejudice. It just makes your souls ugly.
It disgusts me, but we have a long way to go. This is just the first step.
I wish these people would grow up and take this step with me.
10.20.2008
ORGANIZATION STRATEGY ONE...Commenced
Okay, so I've actually started on and completed the organization strategy one as I am going to call it and I think my boyfriend thinks I am insane because I bitched out my book last night, although he's a sweetie pie and made up for it with some awesome snugglage after I was finished. Anyway, I bummed off from the early hours of work to do this so I'm going to go in at five and just contact clients before the work day ends to get their sides of the story for whatever this and that so that I can at least attempt to earn my paycheck. Not that I don't attempt to earn it either way I've just got to buckle down so that I can pay my rent by then end of the month and my ever wonderful bills too.
So, I've got the prologue, chapters 1 - 20 and the epilogue planned out and am trying to determine whether or not if I should write them on my computer or write them in a notebook. My brain shouts both, but my brain is currently turning to mush so I can't be too sure. I hope my boss wrote my paycheck out. I'll be insanely irritated if she hasn't.
Anyway, I'm off to the writing of the book. Aw, wait no..It's almost five o'clock...let me go make a twenty minute drive to work. Laters!
So, I've got the prologue, chapters 1 - 20 and the epilogue planned out and am trying to determine whether or not if I should write them on my computer or write them in a notebook. My brain shouts both, but my brain is currently turning to mush so I can't be too sure. I hope my boss wrote my paycheck out. I'll be insanely irritated if she hasn't.
Anyway, I'm off to the writing of the book. Aw, wait no..It's almost five o'clock...let me go make a twenty minute drive to work. Laters!
10.19.2008
My Brain Feels Like Mush....
Okay, there's this author I love, love, love to absolute pieces, but can I just say there is a thin line between love and hate? I mean, she is PHENOMENAL in that kind of oh-my-god you could win all the Pulitzer Prizes in the known galaxy and I was sooooooooooo totally be happy for you, but then there's little voice inside that wails and screams and stomps its little foot and says: DAMN YOU, WOMAN!! DAMN YOU AND YOUR MUSES!!! DAMN YOU AND YOUR WITTY LINES AND WITTY COMEBACKS AND YOUR SIMPLY FLAWLESS POPULARITY!!! DAMN YOUR BOOK DEAL!!!"
It's just jealousy really.
I love her books and her ideas, I just hate that I can't seem to stick with one idea and then make it work. Take for example this one story I've got, I've revamped it at least three times already because the first two story lines were just too big and too confusing and were opening a lot of doors to plot holes that my brain was screaming at me: please don't make me fill them. I'm irritated and annoyed, and am hoping that I can finally implement ORGANIZATION-STRATEGY-ONE, in which I finally draft an outline after much procrastination and just piteous shouts of 'I dun wanna!'
I want to be famous like her one day, or maybe just more famous so I can good-naturedly rub it in her face and say, YARG!!! The apprentice has now become the master! And then do some respectful bow before whipping out pens that have lightsabers at the ends of them and do some huge, epic battle that could rival that of Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader.
I don't know.
I'm going to go back to hating my book now.
It's just jealousy really.
I love her books and her ideas, I just hate that I can't seem to stick with one idea and then make it work. Take for example this one story I've got, I've revamped it at least three times already because the first two story lines were just too big and too confusing and were opening a lot of doors to plot holes that my brain was screaming at me: please don't make me fill them. I'm irritated and annoyed, and am hoping that I can finally implement ORGANIZATION-STRATEGY-ONE, in which I finally draft an outline after much procrastination and just piteous shouts of 'I dun wanna!'
I want to be famous like her one day, or maybe just more famous so I can good-naturedly rub it in her face and say, YARG!!! The apprentice has now become the master! And then do some respectful bow before whipping out pens that have lightsabers at the ends of them and do some huge, epic battle that could rival that of Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader.
I don't know.
I'm going to go back to hating my book now.
9.12.2008
The Downfall of Positive And Negative Stereotypes
Okay, so I was watching a Nelly video a few minutes ago, and was also thinking about this guy that I'm...dating? seeing? chillin with? (I don't know; it's...interesting to say the least)...he's Chinese, but he likes black girls, and well....it got me thinking about the media stereotypes, media depictions and the standard of beauty in the US of A, and how that can affect someone's vision of their body image.
Statistically, white women are more prone to be Aenorexic or Bulimic, and Black people have a much more positive body image, but when can that body image (no matter how positive) go bad? I will admit, my body type is not the voluptuous sex-kitten figure that men drool over when you see...well, videos like Nelly's. I don't think too negatively of myself, but it does make me notice that I am NOT at all shaped like them....I do not have the big butt nor the shapely hips, the OMFG thin waist or the big boobs. I won't say I'm average because I'm not, but it was always made quite clear to me growing up that I had a "white girl's figure" and that that particular body type (while usually being said in jest) was negatively loked upon. I've been told by family, "We gon' git sum meat on dem bones..."
So, while the supposed "healthier" body image is more prevalent in black women, why is it that you can still fell negatively about it? When does the reverse of aenorexia and bulimia become bad? When does it become unhealthy?
Just a short blurp really.
Statistically, white women are more prone to be Aenorexic or Bulimic, and Black people have a much more positive body image, but when can that body image (no matter how positive) go bad? I will admit, my body type is not the voluptuous sex-kitten figure that men drool over when you see...well, videos like Nelly's. I don't think too negatively of myself, but it does make me notice that I am NOT at all shaped like them....I do not have the big butt nor the shapely hips, the OMFG thin waist or the big boobs. I won't say I'm average because I'm not, but it was always made quite clear to me growing up that I had a "white girl's figure" and that that particular body type (while usually being said in jest) was negatively loked upon. I've been told by family, "We gon' git sum meat on dem bones..."
So, while the supposed "healthier" body image is more prevalent in black women, why is it that you can still fell negatively about it? When does the reverse of aenorexia and bulimia become bad? When does it become unhealthy?
Just a short blurp really.
9.06.2008
story: Broken Heart's Club
Title: Broken Heart's Club
Author: ME!
Summary: What's a girl to do when her heart gets broken?
“And God said, go ye forth for the eighth day of break-ups will suck. And suck hard.”
“You don’t have to be so negative.”
“Why? Because the guy I thought I loved was a snake and a manipulative bastard, who was out for his own ends? No, I’d like to call myself and optimistic realist; and therefore, the eighth day sucks.”
“I brought you out here to cheer you up.”
“Fat load of good that did you.”
The sharp look that was shot Sadie’s way was of clear annoyance, and Brandy turned back to her rapidly cooling mocha choosing to ignore her friend’s tirade or pseudo-Biblical prophecies. She turned her attention to the Atlanta city skyline as cars rushed past on busy Buckhead streets and life pulsed as it usually did in a semi-metropolis like the southern city. They were seated outside of a Starbuck’s barista, the day an unseasonably warm one for it being winter in the city; but, then again, the south had been having a lot of unseasonable weather for last few months. Brandy wondered if it were because of global warming, but attention was soon pulled away from her own meandering thoughts when a loud sniff issued forth from her right. She turned abruptly, gasped in dismay.
“Aw, Sadie,” she clucked sympathetically and scooted her chair over to her friend, and the other woman leaned into her shoulder. Sadie’s eyes were already tell-tale red of soon to be shedding tears and her mouth was drooped at the corners. Her large brown eyes looked up at Brandy’s and she sniffed loudly.
“It’s only been eight days,” Sadie told her. “I’m twenty-one years old and I only have had one sexual encounter in my entire life and he was it, and when I told him I loved him: WHAM!”
“I know, I know.” Brandy rubbed Sadie’s back in soothing circles, slow, but firm as her friend’s body shuddered and a small sigh issued. Brandy knew the story all too well. She’d been studying for a term paper that fateful night, eight days ago, when Sadie called, clearly distraught, tears audible over the phone line, telling her that Mark had broken up with her, saying, “He said he just didn’t feel the same way. I told the bastard I was in-love with him and he said he didn’t feel the same way. He didn’t feel the same way. He said he doesn’t want me chasing something that’s fleeting.”
Brandy remembered casting aside her term paper and everything else, a murderous intent rising in her belly like hot acid and bile, wishing she knew exactly where Mark lived so that she could show him just how much of a jerk he had been for that. But she’d kept it to herself, consoling her friend the best way she could over the phone. She’d felt guilty for only being able to talk to Sadie on the phone anyway over the past seven days and so, on the eighth, she decided to take her best friend out.
“I know you loved him, Sadie, I know you did,” Brandy informed her, her voice firm, “But he was just an ass. All the things you put up with, all the things you did. He was your first, babe.”
Sadie sniffed louder. “I still do love him, which is the messed up part, and I still want him back. I still want….”
The barista came outside to see if they needed anything else and Brandy waved the nice young woman away, not wanting anyone or anything to impinge upon her friend’s sadness. She turned to Sadie, watching as thick droplets of tears fell from the other woman’s large brown eyes, her mouth drooped lower and her shoulders slumped.
Brandy swallowed thickly.
That murderous intent was rising again with a vengeance, clawing its way up her body from the base of her spine and spreading out throughout her body, through her limps, prickling her finger tips in a way that made her want to grab one of the Starbuck’s chairs, rip it out of its place in the cement and march right over to where Mark lived and beat him over the head with it. Sadie was a gem, even though she often didn’t realize it herself. She was the type of person that would help no matter who you were, from her greatest enemy to her dearest friend. She was the selfless type of person that you only encountered once in your lifetime, who’d smile at you or do her damnedest to get you to feel ten times better if you were down and out. Brandy couldn’t understand why Mark could just be so…
She wanted to hit something, hit him, but her anger was not what was needed here, and it would only make things worse. This was Sadie’s time, and she had to be there for her friend.
“It’s natural for you to feel that way, babe.” Brandy rubbed her friend’s back some more, wishing she could impart some kind of sense of stability to her friend’s feelings, wishing she could show her that tomorrow would be a brighter day. She remembered her own break up with her first girlfriend, and that had been a harrowing experience. Back in high school and her girlfriend had told her that she just couldn’t see herself in a relationship anymore and then not a week later: she was out dating some other girl. Brandy had been heart broken, but she had violently and forcefully made herself get over it.
She didn’t think her quick fix, get over her break up plan would work for Sadie. Because Sadie had truly, truly loved Mark, or as Sadie said, still was in-love with Mark. Brandy didn’t know how her friend was ever going to truly heal from it. Of course people got their hearts broken all the time, but she didn’t know those “other people”, all she knew was Sadie, and she knew that her friend was the type to dwell on things too much and too often.
“I know you hate hearing it being said, but….” Brandy paused. “It’ll get better. It’ll get better and you’ll soon be thinking ‘Mark-who?’”
That got a small chuckle from Sadie, and she looked up, her brown eyes still watery.
“You think so?”
Brandy smiled at her. “Hun, I know so.” She rubbed her friend’s back one last time, then gathered their things briskly from the Starbuck’s table. “Now,” she began, “let’s figure out what else we’re going to do today.”
“What else?” Sadie asked, puzzled. Brandy nodded, handing her a tissue, a look of determination crossing her face.
“I’ve got to distract you from all this mess,” Brandy replied, waving her hand airily. She stood, and Sadie after wiping her nose and gathering her things, stood too.
“Let’s go shopping,” Brandy said, a mischievousness lacing her voice.
***
Two hours and twenty shopping bags later, Sadie found herself home, alone, with Brandy’s cheerful car horn still echoing in her ear. She looked around, looked around at everything and sighed.
Author: ME!
Summary: What's a girl to do when her heart gets broken?
“And God said, go ye forth for the eighth day of break-ups will suck. And suck hard.”
“You don’t have to be so negative.”
“Why? Because the guy I thought I loved was a snake and a manipulative bastard, who was out for his own ends? No, I’d like to call myself and optimistic realist; and therefore, the eighth day sucks.”
“I brought you out here to cheer you up.”
“Fat load of good that did you.”
The sharp look that was shot Sadie’s way was of clear annoyance, and Brandy turned back to her rapidly cooling mocha choosing to ignore her friend’s tirade or pseudo-Biblical prophecies. She turned her attention to the Atlanta city skyline as cars rushed past on busy Buckhead streets and life pulsed as it usually did in a semi-metropolis like the southern city. They were seated outside of a Starbuck’s barista, the day an unseasonably warm one for it being winter in the city; but, then again, the south had been having a lot of unseasonable weather for last few months. Brandy wondered if it were because of global warming, but attention was soon pulled away from her own meandering thoughts when a loud sniff issued forth from her right. She turned abruptly, gasped in dismay.
“Aw, Sadie,” she clucked sympathetically and scooted her chair over to her friend, and the other woman leaned into her shoulder. Sadie’s eyes were already tell-tale red of soon to be shedding tears and her mouth was drooped at the corners. Her large brown eyes looked up at Brandy’s and she sniffed loudly.
“It’s only been eight days,” Sadie told her. “I’m twenty-one years old and I only have had one sexual encounter in my entire life and he was it, and when I told him I loved him: WHAM!”
“I know, I know.” Brandy rubbed Sadie’s back in soothing circles, slow, but firm as her friend’s body shuddered and a small sigh issued. Brandy knew the story all too well. She’d been studying for a term paper that fateful night, eight days ago, when Sadie called, clearly distraught, tears audible over the phone line, telling her that Mark had broken up with her, saying, “He said he just didn’t feel the same way. I told the bastard I was in-love with him and he said he didn’t feel the same way. He didn’t feel the same way. He said he doesn’t want me chasing something that’s fleeting.”
Brandy remembered casting aside her term paper and everything else, a murderous intent rising in her belly like hot acid and bile, wishing she knew exactly where Mark lived so that she could show him just how much of a jerk he had been for that. But she’d kept it to herself, consoling her friend the best way she could over the phone. She’d felt guilty for only being able to talk to Sadie on the phone anyway over the past seven days and so, on the eighth, she decided to take her best friend out.
“I know you loved him, Sadie, I know you did,” Brandy informed her, her voice firm, “But he was just an ass. All the things you put up with, all the things you did. He was your first, babe.”
Sadie sniffed louder. “I still do love him, which is the messed up part, and I still want him back. I still want….”
The barista came outside to see if they needed anything else and Brandy waved the nice young woman away, not wanting anyone or anything to impinge upon her friend’s sadness. She turned to Sadie, watching as thick droplets of tears fell from the other woman’s large brown eyes, her mouth drooped lower and her shoulders slumped.
Brandy swallowed thickly.
That murderous intent was rising again with a vengeance, clawing its way up her body from the base of her spine and spreading out throughout her body, through her limps, prickling her finger tips in a way that made her want to grab one of the Starbuck’s chairs, rip it out of its place in the cement and march right over to where Mark lived and beat him over the head with it. Sadie was a gem, even though she often didn’t realize it herself. She was the type of person that would help no matter who you were, from her greatest enemy to her dearest friend. She was the selfless type of person that you only encountered once in your lifetime, who’d smile at you or do her damnedest to get you to feel ten times better if you were down and out. Brandy couldn’t understand why Mark could just be so…
She wanted to hit something, hit him, but her anger was not what was needed here, and it would only make things worse. This was Sadie’s time, and she had to be there for her friend.
“It’s natural for you to feel that way, babe.” Brandy rubbed her friend’s back some more, wishing she could impart some kind of sense of stability to her friend’s feelings, wishing she could show her that tomorrow would be a brighter day. She remembered her own break up with her first girlfriend, and that had been a harrowing experience. Back in high school and her girlfriend had told her that she just couldn’t see herself in a relationship anymore and then not a week later: she was out dating some other girl. Brandy had been heart broken, but she had violently and forcefully made herself get over it.
She didn’t think her quick fix, get over her break up plan would work for Sadie. Because Sadie had truly, truly loved Mark, or as Sadie said, still was in-love with Mark. Brandy didn’t know how her friend was ever going to truly heal from it. Of course people got their hearts broken all the time, but she didn’t know those “other people”, all she knew was Sadie, and she knew that her friend was the type to dwell on things too much and too often.
“I know you hate hearing it being said, but….” Brandy paused. “It’ll get better. It’ll get better and you’ll soon be thinking ‘Mark-who?’”
That got a small chuckle from Sadie, and she looked up, her brown eyes still watery.
“You think so?”
Brandy smiled at her. “Hun, I know so.” She rubbed her friend’s back one last time, then gathered their things briskly from the Starbuck’s table. “Now,” she began, “let’s figure out what else we’re going to do today.”
“What else?” Sadie asked, puzzled. Brandy nodded, handing her a tissue, a look of determination crossing her face.
“I’ve got to distract you from all this mess,” Brandy replied, waving her hand airily. She stood, and Sadie after wiping her nose and gathering her things, stood too.
“Let’s go shopping,” Brandy said, a mischievousness lacing her voice.
***
Two hours and twenty shopping bags later, Sadie found herself home, alone, with Brandy’s cheerful car horn still echoing in her ear. She looked around, looked around at everything and sighed.
poem: Meaningless Chats
MEANINGLESS CHATS
By Erica D.
Wait for the lonely midnights,
Wait for those kind of
Meaningless chats;
You know the ones:
Those chats that tell the truth,
But
Under the light of day
Have no bearing.
You reveal truth
At midnight,
You reveal
The Inner
Self.
Under the bobbing lights
Of firefly, fairy lights.
Unassuming;
Disinterested in the
Affairs of men.
Mouths part,
Eyes sparkles—
Maybe I wouldn’t have told you:
“I like girls with clit-rings.”
“I like riding guys on top.”
“I’m a kink, not a freak; there’s a difference.”
Passing that Black & Mild;
Don’t fuck up the flow.
By Erica D.
Wait for the lonely midnights,
Wait for those kind of
Meaningless chats;
You know the ones:
Those chats that tell the truth,
But
Under the light of day
Have no bearing.
You reveal truth
At midnight,
You reveal
The Inner
Self.
Under the bobbing lights
Of firefly, fairy lights.
Unassuming;
Disinterested in the
Affairs of men.
Mouths part,
Eyes sparkles—
Maybe I wouldn’t have told you:
“I like girls with clit-rings.”
“I like riding guys on top.”
“I’m a kink, not a freak; there’s a difference.”
Passing that Black & Mild;
Don’t fuck up the flow.
8.27.2008
I've Been All Over, And I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For
I've been doing research all over the internet, trying to find a scientific explanation for zombies and whether or not, scientifically, it could happen. Like, could a dead guy get up and start walking around and kill and eat human flesh and could it occur at such a rapid state as to affect the whole world. I've come to the understanding that unless it is the rage virus, solanum could never happen. That makes me kind of sad.
Doing research on the decay process of the human body and the way the cells break down and the body decomposes, there would probably be no way that a person could die and then get up and start walking around without any type of functional heartbeat and/or body activity what so ever. The human body needs active blood flow in order for the limps to move, for fingers to be able to grab and for legs to lurch forward such as they could. Since, upon death, there is a cessation of all body activity, there would be no way in hell--well, unless demons took over the dead bodies--that dead people could get up and walk around and eat people. Once again, I will reinterate: that makes me sad.
Sad, you may ask. Why?
Well, I am on two different sides of the spectrum when it comes to zombies: on the one hand, they scare the hell out of me because HELLO!!!! Dead People Walking!!!! But on the other hand, it would change the face of the lant and human history forever and ever and ever. A huge disaster and catastrophe such as that would tell everyone that the bullshit (racism, classism, sexism, the other million -isms) don't have any bearing in this strange new world that we'd find ourselves in. So, yeah, a million, million ghouls would be hot on your trail, but people would pull together, help each other, want to ensure the survival of the species at least. Of course there would always be those that would care more about themselves then others, but then there'd also be those people that would feel that ancestral pull of being herd animals. Humans are herd animals. We operate and run best when we are within a group.
People would step up to the plate and take care of each other, would look after each other and make sure that the other were okay.
But, alas, unless the government decides to concoct the rage virus (which, by the way, does not create zombies as it essentially amps up the adrenaline in a person's body until they are just really, really, really angry and beat the hell out of someone, their internal organs turn to mush, they're in pain and then just run out of energy and die...rage virus does not kill the person. hence=no zombies), the world will continue as it is.
That, or Mother Nature gets pissed off and takes back her own.
*sigh*
8.16.2008
Relationships, Love Life and All that Jazz
Oi, what have I done? I mean, I can now say that Astrology is good for somethings, but not good for prediction. Anyway, I'm a Libra, right? And well, okay, I do typify some of the most enduring Libra traits of charm and grace and appeal, but then other times the negative traits come out and they are annoying. I know I shouldn't do things without thinking it through, but then...I do them anyway and then perpetuate a lie because I want to be loved and not hated. Typical Libra response to anything and everything.
So, what have I done?
Ugh.
So, there's this guy named Anthony and before I dated my ex-boyfriend, he and numerous of his friends (and I mean, numerous...sometimes it's good to be a Libra), wanted to get with me. Some of them actually stepped up to the plate and asked me out, others of them stayed on the sidelines like the pussy-bitch-boys that they were. Anthony was one of the boys who'd take me out, but only, of course, as friends. I ultimately chose the asshole and now, he's the asshole ex. Well, trickle on down the line to now, in which Anthony is single and I am single, but I only liked him for a second. I knew well enough that it wasn't going to last for more than a few weeks this sudden infatuation (I do know myself well enough after all) and I knew when it was going to fade (it's mostly because I'm just attracted to the energies of Aries men, and that is truth because the last few dates I've been on were all...tada! Aries Men...I have GOT to get attracted to other z-signs, gawd!). Anyway, it--the infatuation--subsided a bit and I was more than ready to carry-on with my existence, but unfortunately some friends had a get-together and everyone knows what happens on get-togethers and I kissed him.
GAWK!
It wasn't unpleasant, but it didn't send sparks flying like I would've wanted it to. In fact, there wasn't anything except...'Oh, he has soft lips.' It should've gone more like 'OOOOOh, soft lips...yummmm!'
So, now I'm all like. SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT! What have I done? And instead of cutting him off and saying, yeah, I'd prefer to be friends...I perpetuate it because I'm scared to death that he will hate me. And his friends that I am friends with, will hate me as well. And I LIKE these people so...ngrw!! Yes, ngrw!! Because I know that at this moment I am not looking for a relationship with anyone (it might have something to do with the fact that I let this OMFG guy get away a couple months back and my psyche is making me pay for it, but w/e...see previous entry from a few months back -->). I mean, I know now that if I got into a relationship with him that I wouldn't be faithful to him because even now I'm trying to get the hook-up and date other guys and my mind will be far away from him. After all, I'm hoping to try on some Asian lovin' with the serious intent of being in a relationship. Not that Asians are the only ones that I'm open to...White guys, Asian Guys, Pacific Islanders, Indians, etc. When I was a kid I fancied myself marrying either a Japanese guy or a Maori man from New Zealand (and no, I do not have hatred for my own race, but I was a bit more open to the idea of interracial relationships than most kids in an-all-balck community....My first crush was my Korean martial arts instructor T.H. Kim..and even after a good couple of years and a smattering of grey hair, that man still looks da-yum good).
Anyway, I've screwed up and I've seen him naked and I KNOW I'm shallow and a tadbit vain...I KNOW that because this other dude liked me and I stopped liking him because he broke wind in my apartment and, while that is a natural function of the human body, it WAS MY APARTMENT AND GOD NO!!!!!! So, Anthony has warts...on his back and his knee. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! There are ways to REMOVE THEM!!!! Ew. So, call me and asshole....I dun care. It's just...unfortunate that I'll have to take him off the market too because I don't want him at all, and you want to know how I realized this. He was talking to a female friend of his and they were leaning together pretty close and I felt nothing...Not a twinge of jealousy or anything, and usually when I like somebody I feel that. I mean, with my ex- this OOGLAY chick who I KNEW had no chance in HELL of getting with him was coming around trying to flirt with him and I felt that twinge of jealousy, so...I KNOW.
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
So, what have I done?
Ugh.
So, there's this guy named Anthony and before I dated my ex-boyfriend, he and numerous of his friends (and I mean, numerous...sometimes it's good to be a Libra), wanted to get with me. Some of them actually stepped up to the plate and asked me out, others of them stayed on the sidelines like the pussy-bitch-boys that they were. Anthony was one of the boys who'd take me out, but only, of course, as friends. I ultimately chose the asshole and now, he's the asshole ex. Well, trickle on down the line to now, in which Anthony is single and I am single, but I only liked him for a second. I knew well enough that it wasn't going to last for more than a few weeks this sudden infatuation (I do know myself well enough after all) and I knew when it was going to fade (it's mostly because I'm just attracted to the energies of Aries men, and that is truth because the last few dates I've been on were all...tada! Aries Men...I have GOT to get attracted to other z-signs, gawd!). Anyway, it--the infatuation--subsided a bit and I was more than ready to carry-on with my existence, but unfortunately some friends had a get-together and everyone knows what happens on get-togethers and I kissed him.
GAWK!
It wasn't unpleasant, but it didn't send sparks flying like I would've wanted it to. In fact, there wasn't anything except...'Oh, he has soft lips.' It should've gone more like 'OOOOOh, soft lips...yummmm!'
So, now I'm all like. SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT! What have I done? And instead of cutting him off and saying, yeah, I'd prefer to be friends...I perpetuate it because I'm scared to death that he will hate me. And his friends that I am friends with, will hate me as well. And I LIKE these people so...ngrw!! Yes, ngrw!! Because I know that at this moment I am not looking for a relationship with anyone (it might have something to do with the fact that I let this OMFG guy get away a couple months back and my psyche is making me pay for it, but w/e...see previous entry from a few months back -->). I mean, I know now that if I got into a relationship with him that I wouldn't be faithful to him because even now I'm trying to get the hook-up and date other guys and my mind will be far away from him. After all, I'm hoping to try on some Asian lovin' with the serious intent of being in a relationship. Not that Asians are the only ones that I'm open to...White guys, Asian Guys, Pacific Islanders, Indians, etc. When I was a kid I fancied myself marrying either a Japanese guy or a Maori man from New Zealand (and no, I do not have hatred for my own race, but I was a bit more open to the idea of interracial relationships than most kids in an-all-balck community....My first crush was my Korean martial arts instructor T.H. Kim..and even after a good couple of years and a smattering of grey hair, that man still looks da-yum good).
Anyway, I've screwed up and I've seen him naked and I KNOW I'm shallow and a tadbit vain...I KNOW that because this other dude liked me and I stopped liking him because he broke wind in my apartment and, while that is a natural function of the human body, it WAS MY APARTMENT AND GOD NO!!!!!! So, Anthony has warts...on his back and his knee. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! There are ways to REMOVE THEM!!!! Ew. So, call me and asshole....I dun care. It's just...unfortunate that I'll have to take him off the market too because I don't want him at all, and you want to know how I realized this. He was talking to a female friend of his and they were leaning together pretty close and I felt nothing...Not a twinge of jealousy or anything, and usually when I like somebody I feel that. I mean, with my ex- this OOGLAY chick who I KNEW had no chance in HELL of getting with him was coming around trying to flirt with him and I felt that twinge of jealousy, so...I KNOW.
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
8.15.2008
ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm Not An Idiot....REALLY!!!
I am, for lack of better words, thoroughly annoyed. I believe I made a post some time back about how difficult it is to find any DECENT men in this town. and yep...back to square one again. God...Is it hard to find decent men in this town? Men who will, pray tell, LISTEN to what you have to say. I shall quote a memeber on another site that I am a member of by saying I was raised in the 'Southern Way', which means that I am, for all intents and purposes, a Ga-muthafuckin-peach, a southern belle and that you will treat me as such! I was raised to be respectful of my elders, no matter who they are, to not talk back to those that clearly know better than me, to not cuss in polite company, to always carry myself as a lady first and foremost, to be independent in the sense that if I have no one else to help me out, then to do the hardwork myself and not whine about it, to be able to mend my own clothes, clean my own home, maintain my own money and bills, etc, etc, etc. And every woman should be raised in the 'southern way'. However, it seems that the misconception of me being a majority black female (I am Puerto Rican, White and Native American too) has suddenly become a staple to these damn men that are trying to get with me. All they see is the pretty face and NOT in fact what lies underneath. Case in point, last night aka this morning at 2 - 3 a.m., there's this guy that I am REALLY not interested in, but I'll give him the time of day because I like being admired (okay, call me shallow and I will nod my head and grin at you coyly, while you simultaneously admire my pretty smile...lol) and I like meeting new people. Gotcher! But I try to tell him, hey the quickest way to earn my interest is to talk to me about intellectual subjects. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, he's all about sex...Sex this...and look at what my tongue can do that...and I'mma take you to my house and rub hot oil on you. Ewww!
First off, I don't even know you! Hell, I can barely remember you name and that's not from me being conceited...I really have a problem remembering names, but faces I ALWAYS remember even if I haven't seen you in five years! But, anyway, I would like to be taken on a first date and get into an intellectual conversation and know where your head is at and not any bullshit about how large your dick is. Hmmm....I've felt it...and I've ridden dick much bigger than yours. But aside from that even is just the fact that I kept telling him this repeatedly and he just WOULD NOT listen! I kept telling him I want to get to know you better, spend time with you without half my clothes off and he's wanting to invite me to his place and cook me breakfast and have sex with me nad I'm just like, CAN I GET TO KNOW YOU FIRST?!!! I already told you I am not a breakfast type person. I have already told you I do not have sex unless I know you well enough. I have already told you, repeatedly, no, no, no, no, no and NO!
Is this the stock of what Atlanta has to offer the womenfolk? Really?
That's it! I'm moving to the Westcoast. Maybe the men out there actually listen to their women.
First off, I don't even know you! Hell, I can barely remember you name and that's not from me being conceited...I really have a problem remembering names, but faces I ALWAYS remember even if I haven't seen you in five years! But, anyway, I would like to be taken on a first date and get into an intellectual conversation and know where your head is at and not any bullshit about how large your dick is. Hmmm....I've felt it...and I've ridden dick much bigger than yours. But aside from that even is just the fact that I kept telling him this repeatedly and he just WOULD NOT listen! I kept telling him I want to get to know you better, spend time with you without half my clothes off and he's wanting to invite me to his place and cook me breakfast and have sex with me nad I'm just like, CAN I GET TO KNOW YOU FIRST?!!! I already told you I am not a breakfast type person. I have already told you I do not have sex unless I know you well enough. I have already told you, repeatedly, no, no, no, no, no and NO!
Is this the stock of what Atlanta has to offer the womenfolk? Really?
That's it! I'm moving to the Westcoast. Maybe the men out there actually listen to their women.
8.05.2008
crawfordjeremy702000, you go to hell, you BATSARD!!!! :P
Okay, so I am randomly on yahoo!messenger..not even randomly on it so much as it's online and I'm cruising the internet checking my e-mails and all of a sudden this person IMs me, and I'm like...urgh...who the hell are you? But I don't say that I just say hello and and engage in a very strange conversation in which this person asks me whether or not I write fanfiction, and whether or not I write femslash. Yes to the first and no to the second one. Here I'll post the conversation...LOL!
crawfordjeremy70200 (8/5/2008 11:29:03 AM) hello
themuse02 (8/5/2008 11:29:08 AM): hello?
crawfordjeremy702000 (8/5/2008 11:29:24 AM): do you write fanfiction.
themuse02 (8/5/2008 11:29:41 AM): sometimes, yes....it's according to which fandom
crawfordjeremy702000 (8/5/2008 11:29:57 AM): have you done femslash or not.
themuse02 (8/5/2008 11:30:17 AM): nope, i usually slash....i haven't done femslash before
crawfordjeremy702000 (8/5/2008 11:30:23 AM): oh.
themuse02 (8/5/2008 11:30:31 AM): yep lol
crawfordjeremy702000 (8/5/2008 11:30:52 AM): i was hoping someone would a short nc-17 femslash but no one will.
themuse02 (8/5/2008 11:31:23 AM): for what fandom?
crawfordjeremy702000 (8/5/2008 11:32:05 AM): either the tv series buffy or smallvillle or the film fantastic four rise of the silver surfer or spider-man 3.
themuse02 (8/5/2008 11:33:24 AM): oh, well..the said thing is that i haven't watched buffy all the much (i was an angel fan), didn't watch smallville and only saw Fantastic Four once....but i think there are femslash stories for buffy and smallville
crawfordjeremy702000 (8/5/2008 11:34:46 AM): i just wanted a short fic of like sue storm with frankie ray from fantastic four rise of the silver surfer please.
themuse02 (8/5/2008 11:35:45 AM): i don't do femslash...now, if you asked me for slash..i'd direct you to a story i'm already working on, but femslash doesn't appeal to me....i already have femparts...what do i want to write about them for...lol
crawfordjeremy702000 (8/5/2008 11:36:03 AM): i am begging you.
themuse02 (8/5/2008 11:36:15 AM): no thanks...
crawfordjeremy702000 (8/5/2008 11:36:19 AM): and i am not taking no for answer.
crawfordjeremy702000 (8/5/2008 11:36:47 AM): so will you do it.
themuse02 (8/5/2008 11:37:04 AM): then i guess you'll have to because i do not, will never do in this life or the next, fem slash...thanks...i'll talk to later...bye!
crawfordjeremy702000 (8/5/2008 11:37:30 AM): YOU LYING BATSARD I HOPE YOU FUCKING GO TO HELL.
themuse02 (8/5/2008 11:37:48 AM): !adios!
Okay, how bizarre is that? I think I handled myself pretty well, don't you? It's not that I won't write it (you never know, the feeling may hit me one day in the far, far away and away far, far future to write it), but it doesn't appeal to me. As I stated: I've got femparts, what do I want to write about them for? So, yeah...this person is clearly a freak and a terrible speller at that (it's BASTARD...not BATSARD) and this person (jeremy crawford, just screams lonely, pizza-faced nerd who's an asiaphile and nasty and sweating over his computer terminal, desperately seeking the elusive free porn sites so that he can jack off to his heart's content...asshole) will clearly get NO kind of help what-so-ever in getting his little nc-17 fic if he keeps that up.
And what was he doing, STALKING MY WEBPAGE? Where the hell did he get my information?!??!
crawfordjeremy70200 (8/5/2008 11:29:03 AM) hello
themuse02 (8/5/2008 11:29:08 AM): hello?
crawfordjeremy702000 (8/5/2008 11:29:24 AM): do you write fanfiction.
themuse02 (8/5/2008 11:29:41 AM): sometimes, yes....it's according to which fandom
crawfordjeremy702000 (8/5/2008 11:29:57 AM): have you done femslash or not.
themuse02 (8/5/2008 11:30:17 AM): nope, i usually slash....i haven't done femslash before
crawfordjeremy702000 (8/5/2008 11:30:23 AM): oh.
themuse02 (8/5/2008 11:30:31 AM): yep lol
crawfordjeremy702000 (8/5/2008 11:30:52 AM): i was hoping someone would a short nc-17 femslash but no one will.
themuse02 (8/5/2008 11:31:23 AM): for what fandom?
crawfordjeremy702000 (8/5/2008 11:32:05 AM): either the tv series buffy or smallvillle or the film fantastic four rise of the silver surfer or spider-man 3.
themuse02 (8/5/2008 11:33:24 AM): oh, well..the said thing is that i haven't watched buffy all the much (i was an angel fan), didn't watch smallville and only saw Fantastic Four once....but i think there are femslash stories for buffy and smallville
crawfordjeremy702000 (8/5/2008 11:34:46 AM): i just wanted a short fic of like sue storm with frankie ray from fantastic four rise of the silver surfer please.
themuse02 (8/5/2008 11:35:45 AM): i don't do femslash...now, if you asked me for slash..i'd direct you to a story i'm already working on, but femslash doesn't appeal to me....i already have femparts...what do i want to write about them for...lol
crawfordjeremy702000 (8/5/2008 11:36:03 AM): i am begging you.
themuse02 (8/5/2008 11:36:15 AM): no thanks...
crawfordjeremy702000 (8/5/2008 11:36:19 AM): and i am not taking no for answer.
crawfordjeremy702000 (8/5/2008 11:36:47 AM): so will you do it.
themuse02 (8/5/2008 11:37:04 AM): then i guess you'll have to because i do not, will never do in this life or the next, fem slash...thanks...i'll talk to later...bye!
crawfordjeremy702000 (8/5/2008 11:37:30 AM): YOU LYING BATSARD I HOPE YOU FUCKING GO TO HELL.
themuse02 (8/5/2008 11:37:48 AM): !adios!
Okay, how bizarre is that? I think I handled myself pretty well, don't you? It's not that I won't write it (you never know, the feeling may hit me one day in the far, far away and away far, far future to write it), but it doesn't appeal to me. As I stated: I've got femparts, what do I want to write about them for? So, yeah...this person is clearly a freak and a terrible speller at that (it's BASTARD...not BATSARD) and this person (jeremy crawford, just screams lonely, pizza-faced nerd who's an asiaphile and nasty and sweating over his computer terminal, desperately seeking the elusive free porn sites so that he can jack off to his heart's content...asshole) will clearly get NO kind of help what-so-ever in getting his little nc-17 fic if he keeps that up.
And what was he doing, STALKING MY WEBPAGE? Where the hell did he get my information?!??!
8.04.2008
8.03.2008
Why Don't You Go #$%$^ Yourself With A $%$^ And Leave Me The %^&%$# ALONE!!!
ARGH!!!!!! Happy August, everyone...and I'm irritated, but then again that MUST be the state of affairs that my life takes on at every single turn. I could probably elaborate, but I'm a dunce so it really wouldn't matter what I said (why do I smell frackin' CANDY!!!!!?!!!). Almost got a ticket, but was able to talk my way out of it by being cute, clueless and sweet even though I looked like crap. I think the 'verse has it out for my love life because I fall for unattainable men. Not 'unattainable' in the sense that I don't think I'm good enough for them (I mean, not to be conceited, but I think I look pretty DAMN good (HAWT even)), but 'unattainable' as in meaning they either live too far away or already taken, and I'm just like....
ARGH!!!!!
So, yeah...never mind...I'll just...
Yeah...
ARGH!!!
ARGH!!!!!
So, yeah...never mind...I'll just...
Yeah...
ARGH!!!
7.30.2008
Now, Who Wants Lemonade?
How hard is it to actually find a decent guy in this town? I mean, this is Atlanta for crying out loud. An international city that's on the rise in globalization and the international market...supposedly anyway. I've lived here all my life and I'm disappointed completely. Well, okay...maybe I'm not trying hard enough...or being a bit too hard on other people. LOL! I've been known to do that on occassion and maybe I shouldn't be such a 'saint'. Where did that come from by the way? I mean, I don't remember being a saint or saint-like...far from it actually, but I think I'm losing my point.
Ah yes, Atlanta...lack of guys...Okay, there's not a lack...just of decent ones, or ones that can tell you what they feel and not beat around the bush, or think that acting like an ass will make them somehow more desirable or be in a relationship with someone else who is clearly a bitch. But then again...
*sigh* I'm just me and I probably sound like an idiotic youngerster, which could very well be the case. When I talk to people I sound and act more mature than I am, but I feel like when I write I really show my age.
I need to stick with a book idea, and get started and finish.
I hate indecision.
ARGH!!
Ah yes, Atlanta...lack of guys...Okay, there's not a lack...just of decent ones, or ones that can tell you what they feel and not beat around the bush, or think that acting like an ass will make them somehow more desirable or be in a relationship with someone else who is clearly a bitch. But then again...
*sigh* I'm just me and I probably sound like an idiotic youngerster, which could very well be the case. When I talk to people I sound and act more mature than I am, but I feel like when I write I really show my age.
I need to stick with a book idea, and get started and finish.
I hate indecision.
ARGH!!
7.29.2008
Because I Worship The Beauty Of Other Races
I'm posting on my blog people that I think are insanely attractive. Here goes:
Benicio del Toro: I mean, LOOK at him. What's not to love?
Johnny Depp: THE quintessential bad boy...he NEVER goes out of style
Luke Goss: played Prince Nuada...So gotta get me an elf.
Takashi Kaneshiro: Does he even NEED a caption?
Daniel Dae Kim: *Brain dead*
Ekin Cheng: Yowza!
Aaron Kwok. One word: Hawt!
Here are my beauties for now. I'm not done yet though. I've got a few more hotties to post up. LOL!!!
Benicio del Toro: I mean, LOOK at him. What's not to love?
Johnny Depp: THE quintessential bad boy...he NEVER goes out of style
Luke Goss: played Prince Nuada...So gotta get me an elf.
Takashi Kaneshiro: Does he even NEED a caption?
Daniel Dae Kim: *Brain dead*
Ekin Cheng: Yowza!
Aaron Kwok. One word: Hawt!
Here are my beauties for now. I'm not done yet though. I've got a few more hotties to post up. LOL!!!
7.21.2008
And There Goes The Fall Of The Good People
I really need to stop being a nice person. My boss needs to stop thinking it's funny to not pay me on time *sigh*
7.19.2008
Can You Ever Get Tired Of Helping People?
I believe I've said this before, but it bares repeating because it's a question that crossed my mind earlier today, but also weeks prior and I glossed over it before and didn't poner it seriously until I was confronted with the thought again today: can you get tired of helping people? Hm. Maybe not How about helping just one person? Is it wrong or mean, I wonder to just want to throw up your hands and say,'HEY! GO ASK SOMEONE ELSE FOR HELP?!' I mostly think it's when it deals with money that I begin to have a problem or slight personal insult too. I have anecdotes for everything, and I think that's the problem people have with me is that I have a logical explanation for all the things I feel or do.
It's just that Shari seems to be having a LOT of problems lately, and I realize that when a friend is having just so many issues, you should be there for them, but when is enough enough, when can you just say, go ask someone else. I've done insanely bigger things for her than I have for any of the other friends I've known for longer and it's been costing me...a lot. I've bailed her out of jail, helped her with her car, helped her pay her deposit for an apartment that she didn't even get and I've paid for her gas on numerous occasions. She's stayed at my home on numerous occasions, eaten my food and used my car for many different things, all at the expense of her driving without a license.
So, okay...does it seem like I've done too much? Am I being a walking punching bag or do I need to keep doing what I am doing even though I feel like I'm being taken advantage of?
I mean, for some reason, she automatically thought it was perfectly okay to ask me whether or not she could use my car to drive her and her boyfriend around for a personal day. Okay, I get it: you and he are trying to patch up your relationship, but why is it that I am the first one you ask? Why is it that your boyfriend's not asking to use one of his homeboy's cars? Or even his mother's car? Why is it that you can't ask your new roommates to help you bring your stuff to their apartment, why do you have to ask me and then have me awake at ten and eleven and twelve o'clock at night with a police escourt?
Do I sound like a bitch? Am I just being one? Or is it because my personality is just the type that says that I have to do things by myself and then expect everyone else to do the same? Does that mean I am a bitch?
I've been told by my brother and my father and...well...other people, that I just need to stop giving a shit about people so much and do things for myself, but helping is so much tied into giving a shit and doing things on my own that I'll attempt to do so much that I'm drained after every activity. So, do I follow my brother's advice and just say, fuck it, sorry, I can't help you? Or do I keep helping?
I know that if my father even knew that someone else was driving my car he'd have a coniption because he's always told me to care about myself more so than others and not do so damned much. But I can't help it because I want to fix everything, but can you ever just get tired of helping other people or just someone? Can you ever just say, you've got other friends to help you too, why do you have to keep pestering me? I don't know. Maybe I am being a bitch, but damned if I don't feel tired as hell just thinking about the whole situation. I want to go to sleep.
*yawn*
Adieu!
It's just that Shari seems to be having a LOT of problems lately, and I realize that when a friend is having just so many issues, you should be there for them, but when is enough enough, when can you just say, go ask someone else. I've done insanely bigger things for her than I have for any of the other friends I've known for longer and it's been costing me...a lot. I've bailed her out of jail, helped her with her car, helped her pay her deposit for an apartment that she didn't even get and I've paid for her gas on numerous occasions. She's stayed at my home on numerous occasions, eaten my food and used my car for many different things, all at the expense of her driving without a license.
So, okay...does it seem like I've done too much? Am I being a walking punching bag or do I need to keep doing what I am doing even though I feel like I'm being taken advantage of?
I mean, for some reason, she automatically thought it was perfectly okay to ask me whether or not she could use my car to drive her and her boyfriend around for a personal day. Okay, I get it: you and he are trying to patch up your relationship, but why is it that I am the first one you ask? Why is it that your boyfriend's not asking to use one of his homeboy's cars? Or even his mother's car? Why is it that you can't ask your new roommates to help you bring your stuff to their apartment, why do you have to ask me and then have me awake at ten and eleven and twelve o'clock at night with a police escourt?
Do I sound like a bitch? Am I just being one? Or is it because my personality is just the type that says that I have to do things by myself and then expect everyone else to do the same? Does that mean I am a bitch?
I've been told by my brother and my father and...well...other people, that I just need to stop giving a shit about people so much and do things for myself, but helping is so much tied into giving a shit and doing things on my own that I'll attempt to do so much that I'm drained after every activity. So, do I follow my brother's advice and just say, fuck it, sorry, I can't help you? Or do I keep helping?
I know that if my father even knew that someone else was driving my car he'd have a coniption because he's always told me to care about myself more so than others and not do so damned much. But I can't help it because I want to fix everything, but can you ever just get tired of helping other people or just someone? Can you ever just say, you've got other friends to help you too, why do you have to keep pestering me? I don't know. Maybe I am being a bitch, but damned if I don't feel tired as hell just thinking about the whole situation. I want to go to sleep.
*yawn*
Adieu!
7.16.2008
7.15.2008
Why Wasabi's Is The Best Sushi and Seafood Buffet on The Planet
You know, I have many petpeeves when I drive and it's not because I'm a speed demon or have an insane amount of roadrage. Okay, that's a lie. I am, in fact, a speed demon, but road rage....really? C'mon. Get outta here. Anyway, I've got a few petpeeves such as...well...when you're driving on an expressway and you're attempting to merge onto traffic and there's a car blocking your way even though the guy or girl is taking the adjoining exit and is going to force you to have to play road acrobatics just to get onto the damn expressway. But my BIGGEST petpeeve is when someone is on a damn cellphone and aren't driving nearly as fast when they are off the cellphone. Driving is all about multitasking, so in my opinion, if you can't drive the same speed while on the cell as you would while not talking on a cell then PUT THE FUCKING PHONE AWAY! No conversation is worth getting in a wreck over or holding up traffic or even just being a rude ass.
Okay, so what happened today, right? I'm taking my friends and myself to a resturant because none of us have eaten today and we're all starving. I'd had to sit through an hour of traffic already on 285 West for whatever frackin reason, people were rude asses on the expressway while I'm trying to exit, I turned up and around trying to travel the street way to get to my home, my boss pissed me off because I was attempting to get paid early so that I could get to the bank, put money in my account and pay up my insurance and whole hell of a lot of other frackin problems today. Is it any wonder? Just give me a smooth ride. No, this bitch couldn't.
Usually, I let people do what they do and try to do what I do and that be all. I mean, I was tight behind her and she was creeping at like a snail pace. Seriously, to quote Ron White: she moving at the speed of smell, she was going so damn slow. And then my friend sitting in the front seat with me says: Aye, tell this bitch to get off the cellphone!" And immediately my brain was like, Wait. She's holding us up because she wants to discuss beauty secrets with her girlfriends. What the fuck--? So, I lay in on my horn and she decides that once she makes the right turn (same way I'm going) that she wants to stop abruptly and attempt to make me hit her car (if I had have hit it, I would've given the bitch a reason to call the cops), but I don't and she CONTINUES to drive at the speed of smell, so I lay in on the horn and don't let up for a minute (telling my mother later, I told her I pulled a George Gray, as in meaning my father's hellified road rage came out of me).
So, she's looking at me through her side mirrors with a dumb look in her face like, 'No this bitch is not honking her horn at me.' So, I'm shouting in Spanish and German and English telling this puthamadre, scheissbekompf, bitch ass muthafuckah to get the hell out of my way. And she decides that she's going to stop and stick her head out the window of her car and say 'You need to stop and fuck you and quit it and all this other bullshit, while my friend Laura said to me later that the security guard was looking at me and my car puzzled as hell. And I shout at the girl, Get OFF THE GODDAMNED CELLPHONE, BITCH!!!! Laura's in the back saying, 'I don't know these people.' Shari's laughing her ass off and I'm steadily shouting and half-way laughing myself. Finally, the bitch drives off and I get to go where I need to go.
Like I said, I'm usually cool about certain things: I'll let you pass me on the road and cut in front of me and do other things, but talking on a frackin cell phone is my biggest damn petpeeve, like you have no idea how much I hate it when some is on a cellphone and is driving slow and can't just finish up the damn conversation or pull off and talk and then when their done, get back on the road. There are enough stupid drivers on the road willing to do fucked up stunts to get where they have to go, why add dumbfuck cellphone talkers to the mix? Really? Is that what we do now? For real, for real.
Okay, so what happened today, right? I'm taking my friends and myself to a resturant because none of us have eaten today and we're all starving. I'd had to sit through an hour of traffic already on 285 West for whatever frackin reason, people were rude asses on the expressway while I'm trying to exit, I turned up and around trying to travel the street way to get to my home, my boss pissed me off because I was attempting to get paid early so that I could get to the bank, put money in my account and pay up my insurance and whole hell of a lot of other frackin problems today. Is it any wonder? Just give me a smooth ride. No, this bitch couldn't.
Usually, I let people do what they do and try to do what I do and that be all. I mean, I was tight behind her and she was creeping at like a snail pace. Seriously, to quote Ron White: she moving at the speed of smell, she was going so damn slow. And then my friend sitting in the front seat with me says: Aye, tell this bitch to get off the cellphone!" And immediately my brain was like, Wait. She's holding us up because she wants to discuss beauty secrets with her girlfriends. What the fuck--? So, I lay in on my horn and she decides that once she makes the right turn (same way I'm going) that she wants to stop abruptly and attempt to make me hit her car (if I had have hit it, I would've given the bitch a reason to call the cops), but I don't and she CONTINUES to drive at the speed of smell, so I lay in on the horn and don't let up for a minute (telling my mother later, I told her I pulled a George Gray, as in meaning my father's hellified road rage came out of me).
So, she's looking at me through her side mirrors with a dumb look in her face like, 'No this bitch is not honking her horn at me.' So, I'm shouting in Spanish and German and English telling this puthamadre, scheissbekompf, bitch ass muthafuckah to get the hell out of my way. And she decides that she's going to stop and stick her head out the window of her car and say 'You need to stop and fuck you and quit it and all this other bullshit, while my friend Laura said to me later that the security guard was looking at me and my car puzzled as hell. And I shout at the girl, Get OFF THE GODDAMNED CELLPHONE, BITCH!!!! Laura's in the back saying, 'I don't know these people.' Shari's laughing her ass off and I'm steadily shouting and half-way laughing myself. Finally, the bitch drives off and I get to go where I need to go.
Like I said, I'm usually cool about certain things: I'll let you pass me on the road and cut in front of me and do other things, but talking on a frackin cell phone is my biggest damn petpeeve, like you have no idea how much I hate it when some is on a cellphone and is driving slow and can't just finish up the damn conversation or pull off and talk and then when their done, get back on the road. There are enough stupid drivers on the road willing to do fucked up stunts to get where they have to go, why add dumbfuck cellphone talkers to the mix? Really? Is that what we do now? For real, for real.
7.14.2008
I want Peach Cobbler
You know, if you've ever been to one of those cybering chatrooms (yes, OMFG, I said cybering chatrooms and yes, I've been to some...whoayay!) and you meet those people that are looking for love in those chatrooms? I don't know, I was on one the other day for kicks, right? And So, I'm chatting with this guy and he's all being flowery and shit and I'm all like, wtf, man, this a chatroom, get on with it already. And then once he's spent and over, and I'm sitting at my computer laughing to myself, he's all like: I SO enjoyed our chat and hey, let's make a date to do it again, say, tomorrow at such-and-such time? And I'm all like, wtf, man, it's a CHATROOM!!!!!
I just have to say that it's a little retarded. It's a sex chat room, why are you looking for a connection in one of those skeeziest dives on the internet? I dunno. I won't say people are pathetic because hell, that's the pot calling the kettle black.
Can you ever get tired of helping people?
I just have to say that it's a little retarded. It's a sex chat room, why are you looking for a connection in one of those skeeziest dives on the internet? I dunno. I won't say people are pathetic because hell, that's the pot calling the kettle black.
Can you ever get tired of helping people?
7.09.2008
We Seem To Be Getting A Loy Of Rain
Okay, so...my car....
I WANT MANDY6 BACK!!!!!!!!
Because Samantha is costing ME too much frackin' money. Too much. I mean, what does the universe think? I'm made of frackin' money? Ugh. I wish I had the car though because I'm jonesin' for my Ashley and there's this audition that she could go out to and possibly get involved with and do well with, and even though she feels like she might not do well, I think she should go so I could...I dunno....pump up her self-esteem and what not.
I think the only good thing about getting my car confucked is getting it towed by a really cute looking Bulgarian guy. Gosh, if he didn't have a girlfriend I think I would've gotten that phone number. I am quite confident, but...I don't play with other people's toys so..la tee ta!
However, I do want my own toy to play with. Okay, so toy is the wrong word to use. Bah!!!
I WANT MANDY6 BACK!!!!!!!!
Because Samantha is costing ME too much frackin' money. Too much. I mean, what does the universe think? I'm made of frackin' money? Ugh. I wish I had the car though because I'm jonesin' for my Ashley and there's this audition that she could go out to and possibly get involved with and do well with, and even though she feels like she might not do well, I think she should go so I could...I dunno....pump up her self-esteem and what not.
I think the only good thing about getting my car confucked is getting it towed by a really cute looking Bulgarian guy. Gosh, if he didn't have a girlfriend I think I would've gotten that phone number. I am quite confident, but...I don't play with other people's toys so..la tee ta!
However, I do want my own toy to play with. Okay, so toy is the wrong word to use. Bah!!!
7.04.2008
*SIGH*
I think it's just because I might be a little...I dunno...pathetic.
The firworks are bursting in the air and I've got horrid pictures in my head of things I wish would go away. Or feelings. Either one.
I wish I could build a time machine.
Don't we always?
*sigh*
The firworks are bursting in the air and I've got horrid pictures in my head of things I wish would go away. Or feelings. Either one.
I wish I could build a time machine.
Don't we always?
*sigh*
6.29.2008
Okay, So You're Playing With Me, Right?
Okay, so now the universe wants to mess with my head. WHY?! What did I do this time? Ugh. And you know what else sucks? I just got my credit score back from TransUnion...My credit sucks bad, and I don't know how it did! I had good credit, and in the last two to three months I've done nothing strenuous on my accounts: I haven't opened a new account, I haven't used my credit card and when I did, I paid it all back promptly. I've paid majority of my bills back on time. What the fuck!!!!
EDIT: Okay, so apparently, it doesn't suck and that damned website was only trying to freak me out so that I could pay them money just to do my credit score. Spoek to my own credit agency; I'm still doing good. The putamadres!!!
EDIT: Okay, so apparently, it doesn't suck and that damned website was only trying to freak me out so that I could pay them money just to do my credit score. Spoek to my own credit agency; I'm still doing good. The putamadres!!!
6.25.2008
Because Sometimes I Get A Little Claustrophobic....
Okay, so....
Maybe I'm a mean friend. Maybe I just don't give a crap about my friends as much as I claim too, but really...this is ridiculous. I think I'm a nice person. Insanely so, in fact. So why is it that Shari thinks it's PERFECTLY fine to just drop by my house at a random, without sending a smoke signal to let me know that she's coming? She's been doing it for the past week and a half. Alright, I get it, your phone is off and you can't really make any outside calls, but dammit! I am a freaking paranoid person and I REALLY like my own space and I don't like hanging around people all that much because of the fact that it is draining too me. As soon as I'm done hanging with my friends, I go home and I crash. And I mean as soon as.
And I get it, your boyfriend's acting like a bit of an ass, but you've heard my opinion on the situation countless many times to know exactly what I am going to say the minute you come bitching and moaning about the latest thing he's done. He's cheated on you once, if you think he's doing it again, then let the fucker go! Simple as pie, or at least not so simple, but I've definitely turned over a new leaf myself so it's going to become as simple as pie. I know you don't really want to be alone, but some days I do, and it doesn't help that you just pop the fuck over and not even give me even the slightest warning that you may stop by.
Take Saturday for instance. I'm attempting to clean up my house so my little brother can come over and chill with me because I don't get to see him as much as I'd like to and all of a sudden I hear the scrapping of someone's shoes across the concrete of my patio. Okay, let's get one thing out in the open...the picture on my blog that says 'sometimes I worry about zombies' is not so half-assed pic to show how uber-kewl and different I can be or am. No, I really, truely fucking worry about zombies and shit, like no fucking joke! So she's comes walking like this and my mind is automatically in 'OHSHITOHSHITI'VEGOTTOGETTHEFUCKOUTOFDODGE!!!!!' mode, and I whip around scared to death, but it's just her. So instead of chewing her head off, I tell her quite calmly, 'You do know I am going to be getting my little brother, right?'
'I was just coming to see how you were doing,' she replies a little defensively, and then steps into my home as if that were an invitation and settles on my couch as if she owns it. GET THE FUCK OUT!!! I'm about to leave! This isn't fucking visiting hours! SHOO! But she stays and starts asking me questions about like how long am I going to be out? When am I going to be dropping my little brother off? How long is he staying here? What are you going to be doing later? Um...none of your freaking business!
And this is what I was telling her about before, when I said: you're just like those people at AiA, you don't like being alone. She got defensive with me then and told me that she LIKES being alone, that she LIKES her own solitude. And I'm like...NO THE FUCK YOU DON'T. See, me? I LOVE MY OWN SOLITUDE! I can go weeks without human interaction and be fine. You know that old black-and-white twilight zone episode where the guy just goes into the bank vault with his book, the world ends and then he comes back out and is relieved that he finally has some quiet time? Yeah, that's me. I'd be relieved if the world ended and I could get some quiet time. Being a hermit at the end of my life sounds like 'glory', and if I had hundreds of books, all the better.
But back to the whole let's stop by Erica's house unannounced. I don't like that, and the last time she did it--come to think of it was actually, yesterday--I told her: Jeez, call much? And she's like: my phone's off. And I tell her, You can find other ways of contacting me. Pay phone? Someone else's phone? Generally, if you stop by my home unannounced it's for emergencies only, and that's how I'm going to take it: an emergency. I mean, I've spent so much time with her that I've neglected most of my other friends.
Like, she's stayed at my home so many times that none of my other friends have even stayed here for one night, much less than the multiple times she's crashed at my place, and I am a giving person. if you need me I am there, but enough is enough. I need to be around my other peoples. I need to see my other crew. I need to hang out with them and chill with them and ask them: Hey, how the fuck you doin? every once and a while. I've spent more money on her than I have EVER spent on my other friends in the last ten years of knowing them and I have known these four people for ten damn years. I mean, fuck! I need a break!
Look at me. I'm getting tired and drained from writing about her...GAH!!!
Maybe I'm a mean friend. Maybe I just don't give a crap about my friends as much as I claim too, but really...this is ridiculous. I think I'm a nice person. Insanely so, in fact. So why is it that Shari thinks it's PERFECTLY fine to just drop by my house at a random, without sending a smoke signal to let me know that she's coming? She's been doing it for the past week and a half. Alright, I get it, your phone is off and you can't really make any outside calls, but dammit! I am a freaking paranoid person and I REALLY like my own space and I don't like hanging around people all that much because of the fact that it is draining too me. As soon as I'm done hanging with my friends, I go home and I crash. And I mean as soon as.
And I get it, your boyfriend's acting like a bit of an ass, but you've heard my opinion on the situation countless many times to know exactly what I am going to say the minute you come bitching and moaning about the latest thing he's done. He's cheated on you once, if you think he's doing it again, then let the fucker go! Simple as pie, or at least not so simple, but I've definitely turned over a new leaf myself so it's going to become as simple as pie. I know you don't really want to be alone, but some days I do, and it doesn't help that you just pop the fuck over and not even give me even the slightest warning that you may stop by.
Take Saturday for instance. I'm attempting to clean up my house so my little brother can come over and chill with me because I don't get to see him as much as I'd like to and all of a sudden I hear the scrapping of someone's shoes across the concrete of my patio. Okay, let's get one thing out in the open...the picture on my blog that says 'sometimes I worry about zombies' is not so half-assed pic to show how uber-kewl and different I can be or am. No, I really, truely fucking worry about zombies and shit, like no fucking joke! So she's comes walking like this and my mind is automatically in 'OHSHITOHSHITI'VEGOTTOGETTHEFUCKOUTOFDODGE!!!!!' mode, and I whip around scared to death, but it's just her. So instead of chewing her head off, I tell her quite calmly, 'You do know I am going to be getting my little brother, right?'
'I was just coming to see how you were doing,' she replies a little defensively, and then steps into my home as if that were an invitation and settles on my couch as if she owns it. GET THE FUCK OUT!!! I'm about to leave! This isn't fucking visiting hours! SHOO! But she stays and starts asking me questions about like how long am I going to be out? When am I going to be dropping my little brother off? How long is he staying here? What are you going to be doing later? Um...none of your freaking business!
And this is what I was telling her about before, when I said: you're just like those people at AiA, you don't like being alone. She got defensive with me then and told me that she LIKES being alone, that she LIKES her own solitude. And I'm like...NO THE FUCK YOU DON'T. See, me? I LOVE MY OWN SOLITUDE! I can go weeks without human interaction and be fine. You know that old black-and-white twilight zone episode where the guy just goes into the bank vault with his book, the world ends and then he comes back out and is relieved that he finally has some quiet time? Yeah, that's me. I'd be relieved if the world ended and I could get some quiet time. Being a hermit at the end of my life sounds like 'glory', and if I had hundreds of books, all the better.
But back to the whole let's stop by Erica's house unannounced. I don't like that, and the last time she did it--come to think of it was actually, yesterday--I told her: Jeez, call much? And she's like: my phone's off. And I tell her, You can find other ways of contacting me. Pay phone? Someone else's phone? Generally, if you stop by my home unannounced it's for emergencies only, and that's how I'm going to take it: an emergency. I mean, I've spent so much time with her that I've neglected most of my other friends.
Like, she's stayed at my home so many times that none of my other friends have even stayed here for one night, much less than the multiple times she's crashed at my place, and I am a giving person. if you need me I am there, but enough is enough. I need to be around my other peoples. I need to see my other crew. I need to hang out with them and chill with them and ask them: Hey, how the fuck you doin? every once and a while. I've spent more money on her than I have EVER spent on my other friends in the last ten years of knowing them and I have known these four people for ten damn years. I mean, fuck! I need a break!
Look at me. I'm getting tired and drained from writing about her...GAH!!!
6.24.2008
James Dobson Is An Idiot...Among Other Things...
Obama comes under fire...again. Only it's a really stupid reason, and it makes me--once again--ashamed to call myself a believer of the Christian faith, and even I'm not so much as a believer as I just take into consideration that some of the things people hold so damned true may not be. But the one thing I can't stand are Bible-thumping Christians who are probably accusing someone of something so ridiculous just for political gain.
Okay, so we got this Evangelist (and first off can I just say: EVANGELIST?!!! EVANGELIST??!!! I hold the evangelical church with as much regard as the Jehovah's Witness...tha
t is...with none at all) named James Dobson (and I just say that he looks like a white supremist bigot anti-christ wannabe...kind of like the pope), apparently he's a leader of some sort (and I NEVER trust leaders of gigantic churches...ever) and he's accusing Obama of "dragging biblical understanding through the gutter" and "[making] a fruitcake interpretation of the Constitution." I mean, LOOK at this guy's picture -------------------->
He scares the freaking hell out of me!! Now that I have that out of the way. He's a fucking dipshit, asshole, conservative, working for the right-wing Republicans to destroy Obama's image for other conservatives so that Obama can't be president because CLEARLY Obama actually has a shot. Huh. Okay, let's get down on what he was talking about in the article from CNN. "[Dragging] biblical understanding into the gutter" is referring to the points that Obama made in his speech in June 2006 to the Christian group called 'Call to Renewal': "In the speech, Obama suggested that it would be impractical to govern based solely on the word of the Bible, noting that some passages suggest slavery is permissible and eating shellfish is disgraceful.
"Which passages of scripture should guide our public policy?" Obama asked in the speech. "Should we go with Leviticus, which suggests slavery is OK and that eating shellfish is an abomination? Or we could go with Deuteronomy, which suggests stoning your child if he strays from the faith? Or should we just stick to the Sermon on the Mount?
"So before we get carried away, let's read our Bible now," Obama said, to cheers. "Folks haven't been reading their Bible."
He also called Jesus' Sermon on the Mount "a passage that is so radical that it's doubtful that our Defense Department would survive its application""(CNN.com).
And so Dobson's response is of course this: "In the comments to be aired Tuesday, Dobson said Obama should not be referencing antiquated dietary codes and passages from the Old Testament that are no longer relevant to the teachings of the New Testament" (CNN.com).
Okay, so, let me get this straight: there are some passages in the Bible we can TOTALLY overlook, but then there are others we HAVE to adhere to? I don't get it. If we can pick and choose what we have to adhere to and what we don't have to adhere to then we really shouldn't be listening or reading the Bible at all. If we go by this reasoning, of course. You're NOT allowed to eat pork or shellfish. Gays are NOT allowed to marry Gays (well, it doesn't ACTUALLY say that, so maybe they should. . .you're really just accused of having sex with the same sex, sleeping in the bed...well...that's ambiguous...and really, who's going to go into everyone's house to make sure? Like a comedian said: why don't all gay couples wanting to get married claim that one or the other is of the opposite sex? It's not like somebody's going to make you drop your pants in the middle of the congragation), but if we go by this Dobson guy's logic and reasoning we can totally disregard THOSE rules altogether because clearly the Old Testament is no longer relevant. WHY HAVE AN OLD TESTAMENT AT ALL? Let's just get rid of it. Nobody likes those old guys with the huge ass fucktard beards anyway.
And now let's move onto the fruitcakeness. FRUITCAKE...??!!! OF THE CONSTITUTION?!!! Omg, I was thinking the guy was going to break out say something insandely racist like ... slavery wasn't legal in the Bible , but it was legal in the States or something (I know that made no sense, but jeez..this guy irks me SOOOO much). Let's do a quote: "Democracy demands that the religiously motivated translate their concerns into universal rather than religion-specific values," Obama said. "It requires their proposals be subject to argument and amenable to reason."
Dobson said the suggestion is an attempt to lead by the "lowest common denominator of morality."
"Am I required in a democracy to conform my efforts in the political arena to his bloody notion of what is right with regard to the lives of tiny babies?" he asked. "What he's trying to say here is, unless everybody agrees, we have no right to fight for what we believe.
"What the senator is saying there, in essence, is that 'I can't seek to pass legislation, for example, that bans partial-birth abortion, because there are people in the culture who don't see that as a moral issue,' " Dobson said. "And if I can't get everyone to agree with me, than it is undemocratic to try to pass legislation that I find offensive to the Scripture. Now, that is a fruitcake interpretation of the Constitution."
Okay, who the FUCK said anything about dead babies? HUH?! Seriously! I mean, personally, I think that these religious nutcases need to leave the abortion issue alone. Seriously. It's a woman's body and nowhere in there did God spake and commandeth the peoples of the earth: 'Thou shalt not commit abortions for this is an unlawful act and if thee so shall commit this act then thine soul is forfeit under heaven blah blah blah..." They classify it as murder. Bullshit. The damn embryo, batch of cells, whatever doesn't even have a BRAIN much less the ability to know that it's fucking DYING. And once again, who said anything about DEAD BABIES?! Honestly, what if Barack were going to pass a new law concerning homosexual marriage in the ENTIRE country and not just in California? What if he were going to do something about immigration or the fucking war?!! Who said anything about DEAD BABIES?! What if he were going to figure out ways about the 'death with dignity'? Apparently, many in the country are up in arms about that.
I think James Dobson is a fruitcake himself, and anyone who takes his words into consideration are fruitcakes too. He's attacking Obama, first off, for a speech he made back in 2006, dredging up, or attempting to dredge up, criticism of the man because he probably doesn't think a nigger can run this country. He's probably in his home right now, cringing because a nigger is representing one of the most powerful political parties in this country, and even though Hilary was a woman at least she was white, and he could probably handle that better. Because really, you got to ask yourself: why the hell didn't he have these same concerns when Obama was running and hadn't had the nomination in the bag? Why didn't he put his two cents in back in 2006, when Obama running for president was barely even a well thought out idea? What did he do, spend all his time, doing his research on both candidates so that which ever one DID when he could bad mouth to the US citizens who are getting their hopes up for someone with SOME kind of decency?
I can't believe this.
Maybe Obama is making these comments because he believes, or is at least trying to get everyone else to believe that he believes, that we NEED a united front. The Euro dollar is making a mockery of the American economics in Europe. The American image in the international community is seen as elitist and comparable to George Orwell's Big Brother government agendas, or at least it's coming close. We bully the other nations to submit to our will and, if they don't, we subjugate them, punish them and incite political upheavals and then it can't be substantiated because America is so damned good at convering its tracks.
Okay, so we got this Evangelist (and first off can I just say: EVANGELIST?!!! EVANGELIST??!!! I hold the evangelical church with as much regard as the Jehovah's Witness...tha
t is...with none at all) named James Dobson (and I just say that he looks like a white supremist bigot anti-christ wannabe...kind of like the pope), apparently he's a leader of some sort (and I NEVER trust leaders of gigantic churches...ever) and he's accusing Obama of "dragging biblical understanding through the gutter" and "[making] a fruitcake interpretation of the Constitution." I mean, LOOK at this guy's picture -------------------->He scares the freaking hell out of me!! Now that I have that out of the way. He's a fucking dipshit, asshole, conservative, working for the right-wing Republicans to destroy Obama's image for other conservatives so that Obama can't be president because CLEARLY Obama actually has a shot. Huh. Okay, let's get down on what he was talking about in the article from CNN. "[Dragging] biblical understanding into the gutter" is referring to the points that Obama made in his speech in June 2006 to the Christian group called 'Call to Renewal': "In the speech, Obama suggested that it would be impractical to govern based solely on the word of the Bible, noting that some passages suggest slavery is permissible and eating shellfish is disgraceful.
"Which passages of scripture should guide our public policy?" Obama asked in the speech. "Should we go with Leviticus, which suggests slavery is OK and that eating shellfish is an abomination? Or we could go with Deuteronomy, which suggests stoning your child if he strays from the faith? Or should we just stick to the Sermon on the Mount?
"So before we get carried away, let's read our Bible now," Obama said, to cheers. "Folks haven't been reading their Bible."
He also called Jesus' Sermon on the Mount "a passage that is so radical that it's doubtful that our Defense Department would survive its application""(CNN.com).
And so Dobson's response is of course this: "In the comments to be aired Tuesday, Dobson said Obama should not be referencing antiquated dietary codes and passages from the Old Testament that are no longer relevant to the teachings of the New Testament" (CNN.com).
Okay, so, let me get this straight: there are some passages in the Bible we can TOTALLY overlook, but then there are others we HAVE to adhere to? I don't get it. If we can pick and choose what we have to adhere to and what we don't have to adhere to then we really shouldn't be listening or reading the Bible at all. If we go by this reasoning, of course. You're NOT allowed to eat pork or shellfish. Gays are NOT allowed to marry Gays (well, it doesn't ACTUALLY say that, so maybe they should. . .you're really just accused of having sex with the same sex, sleeping in the bed...well...that's ambiguous...and really, who's going to go into everyone's house to make sure? Like a comedian said: why don't all gay couples wanting to get married claim that one or the other is of the opposite sex? It's not like somebody's going to make you drop your pants in the middle of the congragation), but if we go by this Dobson guy's logic and reasoning we can totally disregard THOSE rules altogether because clearly the Old Testament is no longer relevant. WHY HAVE AN OLD TESTAMENT AT ALL? Let's just get rid of it. Nobody likes those old guys with the huge ass fucktard beards anyway.
And now let's move onto the fruitcakeness. FRUITCAKE...??!!! OF THE CONSTITUTION?!!! Omg, I was thinking the guy was going to break out say something insandely racist like ... slavery wasn't legal in the Bible , but it was legal in the States or something (I know that made no sense, but jeez..this guy irks me SOOOO much). Let's do a quote: "Democracy demands that the religiously motivated translate their concerns into universal rather than religion-specific values," Obama said. "It requires their proposals be subject to argument and amenable to reason."
Dobson said the suggestion is an attempt to lead by the "lowest common denominator of morality."
"Am I required in a democracy to conform my efforts in the political arena to his bloody notion of what is right with regard to the lives of tiny babies?" he asked. "What he's trying to say here is, unless everybody agrees, we have no right to fight for what we believe.
"What the senator is saying there, in essence, is that 'I can't seek to pass legislation, for example, that bans partial-birth abortion, because there are people in the culture who don't see that as a moral issue,' " Dobson said. "And if I can't get everyone to agree with me, than it is undemocratic to try to pass legislation that I find offensive to the Scripture. Now, that is a fruitcake interpretation of the Constitution."
Okay, who the FUCK said anything about dead babies? HUH?! Seriously! I mean, personally, I think that these religious nutcases need to leave the abortion issue alone. Seriously. It's a woman's body and nowhere in there did God spake and commandeth the peoples of the earth: 'Thou shalt not commit abortions for this is an unlawful act and if thee so shall commit this act then thine soul is forfeit under heaven blah blah blah..." They classify it as murder. Bullshit. The damn embryo, batch of cells, whatever doesn't even have a BRAIN much less the ability to know that it's fucking DYING. And once again, who said anything about DEAD BABIES?! Honestly, what if Barack were going to pass a new law concerning homosexual marriage in the ENTIRE country and not just in California? What if he were going to do something about immigration or the fucking war?!! Who said anything about DEAD BABIES?! What if he were going to figure out ways about the 'death with dignity'? Apparently, many in the country are up in arms about that.
I think James Dobson is a fruitcake himself, and anyone who takes his words into consideration are fruitcakes too. He's attacking Obama, first off, for a speech he made back in 2006, dredging up, or attempting to dredge up, criticism of the man because he probably doesn't think a nigger can run this country. He's probably in his home right now, cringing because a nigger is representing one of the most powerful political parties in this country, and even though Hilary was a woman at least she was white, and he could probably handle that better. Because really, you got to ask yourself: why the hell didn't he have these same concerns when Obama was running and hadn't had the nomination in the bag? Why didn't he put his two cents in back in 2006, when Obama running for president was barely even a well thought out idea? What did he do, spend all his time, doing his research on both candidates so that which ever one DID when he could bad mouth to the US citizens who are getting their hopes up for someone with SOME kind of decency?
I can't believe this.
Maybe Obama is making these comments because he believes, or is at least trying to get everyone else to believe that he believes, that we NEED a united front. The Euro dollar is making a mockery of the American economics in Europe. The American image in the international community is seen as elitist and comparable to George Orwell's Big Brother government agendas, or at least it's coming close. We bully the other nations to submit to our will and, if they don't, we subjugate them, punish them and incite political upheavals and then it can't be substantiated because America is so damned good at convering its tracks.
6.23.2008
About M'Zombies..and yes, they are MY zombies...
On the subject of zombies, right? Because I am a totally weird person and to me discussing zombies in detail and for fictional purposes is the best way to get in my pants (> < ! I'm kidding!...or am I?). Anyway, I was watching Romero's newest zombie concoction called Diary of the Dead, and if you're an avid fan like me, you can suspend your belief in reality enough to really enjoy the movie and the scare factor of it. If you can't...well..you suck, and get off my blog.
Anyway, after watching this movie I once again renewed my research in the zombie-phenom (I do this every few years: get hooked on some natural, unnatural or manmade disaster of epic proportions that can, or will, destroy mankind), and as I'm doing the research I encounter answers to how people plan to survive the zombie outbreak that just make me absolutely livid, and I MEAN livid!!!
I'll explain later as I am much too tired for a lengthy explanation, but you best believe that tomorrow...HELL!
Anyway, after watching this movie I once again renewed my research in the zombie-phenom (I do this every few years: get hooked on some natural, unnatural or manmade disaster of epic proportions that can, or will, destroy mankind), and as I'm doing the research I encounter answers to how people plan to survive the zombie outbreak that just make me absolutely livid, and I MEAN livid!!!
I'll explain later as I am much too tired for a lengthy explanation, but you best believe that tomorrow...HELL!
Can I Just Say This One Thing?
Okay, can I just say something and not be called a racist or a reverse-racist or whatever the phrase is nowadays? I just have to ask: why the hell are all the 'reputable' psychics on television always white. Like, I'm watching this show right now where their interviewing and meeting psychic kids who 'claim' they can 'see' and 'feel' things and not a one of these damn kids are Indian or Native American or Asian or anything like that. They are all the typical, middle-class white kid angsting over the same old-same same-old emo subjects. And it's irritating. What about the lower class black child or the middle or upper class black child or the upper, middle or lower class Asian or anyone else? WHY IS IT THAT IT'S ALWAYS WHITE PEOPLE? And, like
I said, I'm not trying to bash, but it's insanely irritating.
I mean, hell! I don't see myself on television and I've seen and heard and done loads of paranormal things. Hell, my mother is particularly gifted herself. Tell her any dream, no matter how weird it is and she can interpret it. She knows things before they happen and even the most intimate details about people before she even shakes their hand. I don't see her on television doing her thing. Why is it that the media always has to overblow white people's accomplishments over the accomplishments of other races?
I was reading this article years ago in Ebony magazine about how these two sisters, barely out of high school, had applied for and had been accepted into one the most competitive and well known colleges in the world; both were 14 and 15 respectively. They were young!!! But instead of their accomplishment being shown world wide or even nationally, they were ignored and some white kid was shown being accepted into college and all that bull, and I was like, but what about these two girls?
HELL, I didn't even know there was a black astrophysicist until a couple of years ago and that blew me away! Why hadn't I ever heard of this guy and his accomplishments? His intelligence rivals that of Stephen Hawkins, but you never see this guy on television except maybe a few times and or a few minutes each on some space documentary.
People of every race need heroes, even if it's of the strange kind and need to stop having to feel some kind of self-hatred because we are bombarded each day of our lives with images, however subtle they may be, of how GREAT and WONDERFUL white people are. Honestly, it's frustrating!
I said, I'm not trying to bash, but it's insanely irritating.
I mean, hell! I don't see myself on television and I've seen and heard and done loads of paranormal things. Hell, my mother is particularly gifted herself. Tell her any dream, no matter how weird it is and she can interpret it. She knows things before they happen and even the most intimate details about people before she even shakes their hand. I don't see her on television doing her thing. Why is it that the media always has to overblow white people's accomplishments over the accomplishments of other races?
I was reading this article years ago in Ebony magazine about how these two sisters, barely out of high school, had applied for and had been accepted into one the most competitive and well known colleges in the world; both were 14 and 15 respectively. They were young!!! But instead of their accomplishment being shown world wide or even nationally, they were ignored and some white kid was shown being accepted into college and all that bull, and I was like, but what about these two girls?
HELL, I didn't even know there was a black astrophysicist until a couple of years ago and that blew me away! Why hadn't I ever heard of this guy and his accomplishments? His intelligence rivals that of Stephen Hawkins, but you never see this guy on television except maybe a few times and or a few minutes each on some space documentary.
People of every race need heroes, even if it's of the strange kind and need to stop having to feel some kind of self-hatred because we are bombarded each day of our lives with images, however subtle they may be, of how GREAT and WONDERFUL white people are. Honestly, it's frustrating!
6.21.2008
If I Could Just Get A Breather....
You know, I'm really annoyed. Can I just say that? I mean, maybe I'm just blowing something up that really doesn't need to be blown out of propoertion, but this is annoying. You know that bad thing about being a really nice and insanely giving person is? How easy everyone else can just walk all over you forgetting that you have a life and you have responsibilities and that you just can't drop them for whatever reason. There are a lot of things that my friends just can't seem to get. I am not a walking BANK. I am not a TAXI SERVICE. I am IRRITATED.
Okay, so the reason behind this rant: Ashley wants to come into town to see her friend Necie and celebrate Necie's birthday. My response: an emphatic "NO!" Not because I am attempting to be mean or cruel because at any other time, I would do it without question.
It just bugs me that she asks me on Thursday, not considering that when I usually bring her home I plan for it, first off. That when she comes, it's an imposition because I AM NOT and extrovert unless need be and I don't like sharing my space (not because I'm spoilt) but because shit gets dirty and misplaced and touched and I HATE it because it's like itchy bugs all over my skin, and then she complains about not being able to do things, asks me to spend MY MONEY on unnecessary food stuffs when I have food that I have bought specifically so I won't spend my cash except on bills and what not, wants me to take her around the city for fun, and when she does eat my food, I have to go out a buy more food because I'm paranoid and scared of my refridge being empty (okay, so I'm OCD about alot of things, but it's a valid mental disorder....I just like an order to my universe...I mean, I'm partially freaking out now because of the fact that I don't have enough money now to go get groceries because I have to pay the last of my bills).
Anyway, she doesn't understand that it takes MONEY to have her here, and since its Necie's birthday it's going to take MORE money because of the fact that I have to drive to Macon, Ga. THen I have to drive back to Atlanta, Ga. Then I have to drive her and Necie around if they want to go somewhere. Then I have to drive Necie back to her home and then back to mine because of course Ashley is going to stay with me because she can't stand being around her family. THEN when the time comes, I have to drive Ashley back to Macon, Ga and then drive back to Atlanta, Ga. Factor in food costs and whatever other monies I'll be spending on (because I ALWAYS do), that's a shitload of money that I don't have. Therefore, I cannot make the trip.
So then she texts me today to ask me: 'My mom wants to know how much money you need for gas?' I'd say a good two hundred bucks because I have an SUV-type car and while its 6 cylinder engine is good on gas, it still eats up my money to fill it up. About 30 - 40 bucks, and that's only if it's a quarter tank full. If I make a trip to Macon, the tank is about half to a third empty. That's still money. PLUS no one considers the wear and tear that will have on my vehicle. I left my father's house on bad terms because I couldn't stand living there anymore. They don't seem to get that if that car breaks down, I will NOT have the money to get it fixed.
I want my car to run as long as possible, and if that means that Ashley has to miss out on Necie's birthday then tough. I always think about other people; I need to think about me. Besides, if Necie wants her here so bad then she NEEDS to figure out a way to get her up here herself.
Okay, so the reason behind this rant: Ashley wants to come into town to see her friend Necie and celebrate Necie's birthday. My response: an emphatic "NO!" Not because I am attempting to be mean or cruel because at any other time, I would do it without question.
It just bugs me that she asks me on Thursday, not considering that when I usually bring her home I plan for it, first off. That when she comes, it's an imposition because I AM NOT and extrovert unless need be and I don't like sharing my space (not because I'm spoilt) but because shit gets dirty and misplaced and touched and I HATE it because it's like itchy bugs all over my skin, and then she complains about not being able to do things, asks me to spend MY MONEY on unnecessary food stuffs when I have food that I have bought specifically so I won't spend my cash except on bills and what not, wants me to take her around the city for fun, and when she does eat my food, I have to go out a buy more food because I'm paranoid and scared of my refridge being empty (okay, so I'm OCD about alot of things, but it's a valid mental disorder....I just like an order to my universe...I mean, I'm partially freaking out now because of the fact that I don't have enough money now to go get groceries because I have to pay the last of my bills).
Anyway, she doesn't understand that it takes MONEY to have her here, and since its Necie's birthday it's going to take MORE money because of the fact that I have to drive to Macon, Ga. THen I have to drive back to Atlanta, Ga. Then I have to drive her and Necie around if they want to go somewhere. Then I have to drive Necie back to her home and then back to mine because of course Ashley is going to stay with me because she can't stand being around her family. THEN when the time comes, I have to drive Ashley back to Macon, Ga and then drive back to Atlanta, Ga. Factor in food costs and whatever other monies I'll be spending on (because I ALWAYS do), that's a shitload of money that I don't have. Therefore, I cannot make the trip.
So then she texts me today to ask me: 'My mom wants to know how much money you need for gas?' I'd say a good two hundred bucks because I have an SUV-type car and while its 6 cylinder engine is good on gas, it still eats up my money to fill it up. About 30 - 40 bucks, and that's only if it's a quarter tank full. If I make a trip to Macon, the tank is about half to a third empty. That's still money. PLUS no one considers the wear and tear that will have on my vehicle. I left my father's house on bad terms because I couldn't stand living there anymore. They don't seem to get that if that car breaks down, I will NOT have the money to get it fixed.
I want my car to run as long as possible, and if that means that Ashley has to miss out on Necie's birthday then tough. I always think about other people; I need to think about me. Besides, if Necie wants her here so bad then she NEEDS to figure out a way to get her up here herself.
6.17.2008
6.16.2008
I Know That It's Over......
Okay, so I'm watching some episodes of Roswell. You know, that teen-angsty show a couple of years back about alien teens and the confucked lives they lived with the humans that they dragged into their adventure, and I was thinking...even though Max Evans, one of the alien teens, had that whole dark, mysterious stalker vibe going, he's the type of guy...hate to say it....that I could probably go for. Or maybe Michael Guerin (another alien teen). It's just something about that whole bad ass, pushing you away, but loving so deep it hurts kind of guy that just makes me melt.
Anyway, this whole watching of the Roswell episodes, of course, follows on the heels of my cousin's wedding (wonderful affair by the way; both bride and groom looked absolutely fabulous in their garments and raiments <3!), and it all just gets me to thinking about that whole true love spiel and how I'll probably never find one. I mean, my cousin and my new cousin-in-law knew each other since they were nine-years-old and James (my cousin-in-law) knew from the moment that he saw my cousin Marcia walking down the street kicking her legs on her way home that he was going to marry her one day.
I love the fact that through the years they've remained together, beit through relationships or as friends, and that they have two beautiful baby girls, but dammit! Not to rain on their parade: WTF?!!!! Where's my happy ending? Where's my true love? I've always wanted one, I've always dreamed of having one and I....just don't have one at all. Maybe it's because I'm scared or stupid or I'm looking too hard, but this is just...GTSHTBSHYNSATGSHYSJDHBTGFAHNHSGXAS!!!! There are no words to describe it.
And then I asked my Dad why is it that I seem to be attracting fucktard Arieses all the time and he said where's your Venus? And I said Venus is in Scorpio in my Third House (Astrology tech talk, if you didn't guess). And he tells me: well, you've got a lot of planets in Scorpio, and especially your Venus. There you go.
WHAT?!!!! How the hell is that supposed to help me? It just tells me I'm too damn intense with how I love, and that I probably won't be suited for relatonships that are just geared towards light-heartedness and fun. I want too much of a deep connection, an all-or-nothing union. That's....rather depressing really.
To quote, Maria DeLuka: 'You're hopeless.'
Anyway, this whole watching of the Roswell episodes, of course, follows on the heels of my cousin's wedding (wonderful affair by the way; both bride and groom looked absolutely fabulous in their garments and raiments <3!), and it all just gets me to thinking about that whole true love spiel and how I'll probably never find one. I mean, my cousin and my new cousin-in-law knew each other since they were nine-years-old and James (my cousin-in-law) knew from the moment that he saw my cousin Marcia walking down the street kicking her legs on her way home that he was going to marry her one day.
I love the fact that through the years they've remained together, beit through relationships or as friends, and that they have two beautiful baby girls, but dammit! Not to rain on their parade: WTF?!!!! Where's my happy ending? Where's my true love? I've always wanted one, I've always dreamed of having one and I....just don't have one at all. Maybe it's because I'm scared or stupid or I'm looking too hard, but this is just...GTSHTBSHYNSATGSHYSJDHBTGFAHNHSGXAS!!!! There are no words to describe it.
And then I asked my Dad why is it that I seem to be attracting fucktard Arieses all the time and he said where's your Venus? And I said Venus is in Scorpio in my Third House (Astrology tech talk, if you didn't guess). And he tells me: well, you've got a lot of planets in Scorpio, and especially your Venus. There you go.
WHAT?!!!! How the hell is that supposed to help me? It just tells me I'm too damn intense with how I love, and that I probably won't be suited for relatonships that are just geared towards light-heartedness and fun. I want too much of a deep connection, an all-or-nothing union. That's....rather depressing really.
To quote, Maria DeLuka: 'You're hopeless.'
6.15.2008
Open Season...the gaity does not cease...
Once there was a magical elf
Who lived in a rainbow tree
He lived downstairs
From a flatulent dwarf
Who was constantly having to pee
One day the elf could take no more
So he went and banged
On the rude dwarf's door
And what do you know
They suddenly both were married
Because I Don't Think It Needs A Title
It's just not something I can do on good conscience, and usually I know people would probably say look out for yourself and your own interests and screw what someone or anyone else thinks, but I know it's too late already AND I just couldn't deprive or take someone else's happiness away from them. Not again because...I did it once and the universe taught me a very harsh (in my opinion) lesson of what happen when you do bad things. They come back to bite you insanely harshly on the ass. I'm not getting hurt again. I refuse.
So, I'll remain unhappy. Again. Because this world hates me so damn much.
Because I Heard It On 'Open Season'...
music by Bing Crosby
6.11.2008
Keep Telling Yourself That....
If that helps you sleep at night, keep lying to yourself.
Believe what you want.
Believe it all and keep lying to yourself about everything you believe in.
Make excuses and never do...anything...that will ever matter.
So, if that helps you sleep at night, keep telling yourself that what you did was the right thing. The good thing, instead of the thing that would've made you happy. Even for a little while.
Believe what you want.
Believe it all and keep lying to yourself about everything you believe in.
Make excuses and never do...anything...that will ever matter.
So, if that helps you sleep at night, keep telling yourself that what you did was the right thing. The good thing, instead of the thing that would've made you happy. Even for a little while.
Maury Sets Us Back Four Hundred Years..
Watching Maury, I'm starting to get why African-Americans, or Black-Americans of African descent, as a whole seem to suffer from a negative stereotyping and stigma in the media and on the international scale. And we do it to ourselves. We allow ourselves to present to the world an uneducated, loud, obnoxious and rude picture of ourselves, instead of showing people that we ARE in fact intelligent. And the virus seems to be spreading. And, yes, I called it a virus because I speak, talk, write and act professional however a LOT of my people don't seem to want to. I don't wear clothes that clearly mark me as some video-vixen-wanna-be nor do I keep up with the latest fads that sweep through my people every time one of their favorite rappers or singers deem it the 'hot, new thing'.
MAny times as a child I've been of accused of acting white, talking white, and essentially just not being Black at all. I'm light-skinned to a degree and while I've never had too much negativity surrounding that fact, I have been told by my own family members that the older generations would like me more because of the fact that I am lighter than my own mother. My father has been accused of being half-white (and while that's not too much of a stretch from the truth--my father is of mixed descent--it still irks me to no end).
I see how the media portrays us, and it irritates me that there is no other stereotype to balance that out. With white people, you've got two stereotypes: the red neck, uneducated, racist hick and then you've got the beautiful, model, stock broker, businessman. You see either one portrayed on the media. Black people: you usually only get the obnoxious negro.
Now, that's not to say that there aren't positive role models for blacks, but then they come under fire for not being black enough. And it's a never ending, vicious cycle.
MAny times as a child I've been of accused of acting white, talking white, and essentially just not being Black at all. I'm light-skinned to a degree and while I've never had too much negativity surrounding that fact, I have been told by my own family members that the older generations would like me more because of the fact that I am lighter than my own mother. My father has been accused of being half-white (and while that's not too much of a stretch from the truth--my father is of mixed descent--it still irks me to no end).
I see how the media portrays us, and it irritates me that there is no other stereotype to balance that out. With white people, you've got two stereotypes: the red neck, uneducated, racist hick and then you've got the beautiful, model, stock broker, businessman. You see either one portrayed on the media. Black people: you usually only get the obnoxious negro.
Now, that's not to say that there aren't positive role models for blacks, but then they come under fire for not being black enough. And it's a never ending, vicious cycle.
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