Okay, so I'm watching some episodes of Roswell. You know, that teen-angsty show a couple of years back about alien teens and the confucked lives they lived with the humans that they dragged into their adventure, and I was thinking...even though Max Evans, one of the alien teens, had that whole dark, mysterious stalker vibe going, he's the type of guy...hate to say it....that I could probably go for. Or maybe Michael Guerin (another alien teen). It's just something about that whole bad ass, pushing you away, but loving so deep it hurts kind of guy that just makes me melt.
Anyway, this whole watching of the Roswell episodes, of course, follows on the heels of my cousin's wedding (wonderful affair by the way; both bride and groom looked absolutely fabulous in their garments and raiments <3!), and it all just gets me to thinking about that whole true love spiel and how I'll probably never find one. I mean, my cousin and my new cousin-in-law knew each other since they were nine-years-old and James (my cousin-in-law) knew from the moment that he saw my cousin Marcia walking down the street kicking her legs on her way home that he was going to marry her one day.
I love the fact that through the years they've remained together, beit through relationships or as friends, and that they have two beautiful baby girls, but dammit! Not to rain on their parade: WTF?!!!! Where's my happy ending? Where's my true love? I've always wanted one, I've always dreamed of having one and I....just don't have one at all. Maybe it's because I'm scared or stupid or I'm looking too hard, but this is just...GTSHTBSHYNSATGSHYSJDHBTGFAHNHSGXAS!!!! There are no words to describe it.
And then I asked my Dad why is it that I seem to be attracting fucktard Arieses all the time and he said where's your Venus? And I said Venus is in Scorpio in my Third House (Astrology tech talk, if you didn't guess). And he tells me: well, you've got a lot of planets in Scorpio, and especially your Venus. There you go.
WHAT?!!!! How the hell is that supposed to help me? It just tells me I'm too damn intense with how I love, and that I probably won't be suited for relatonships that are just geared towards light-heartedness and fun. I want too much of a deep connection, an all-or-nothing union. That's....rather depressing really.
To quote, Maria DeLuka: 'You're hopeless.'
And that's the truth
In My Own Words
- Memoirs Of A Dragonfly Queen
- Growing up an odd ball amongst odd balls is a feat, but I do it with as much stlye and as much pizzazz as I can. I may not be fabulously dressed all the time, but dammit! I AM fabulous! I'm living on my own, doing my own thing and staying above water as much as I possibly can, so join me, dear readers, writers, adventurers!
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