Okay, so....
Maybe I'm a mean friend. Maybe I just don't give a crap about my friends as much as I claim too, but really...this is ridiculous. I think I'm a nice person. Insanely so, in fact. So why is it that Shari thinks it's PERFECTLY fine to just drop by my house at a random, without sending a smoke signal to let me know that she's coming? She's been doing it for the past week and a half. Alright, I get it, your phone is off and you can't really make any outside calls, but dammit! I am a freaking paranoid person and I REALLY like my own space and I don't like hanging around people all that much because of the fact that it is draining too me. As soon as I'm done hanging with my friends, I go home and I crash. And I mean as soon as.
And I get it, your boyfriend's acting like a bit of an ass, but you've heard my opinion on the situation countless many times to know exactly what I am going to say the minute you come bitching and moaning about the latest thing he's done. He's cheated on you once, if you think he's doing it again, then let the fucker go! Simple as pie, or at least not so simple, but I've definitely turned over a new leaf myself so it's going to become as simple as pie. I know you don't really want to be alone, but some days I do, and it doesn't help that you just pop the fuck over and not even give me even the slightest warning that you may stop by.
Take Saturday for instance. I'm attempting to clean up my house so my little brother can come over and chill with me because I don't get to see him as much as I'd like to and all of a sudden I hear the scrapping of someone's shoes across the concrete of my patio. Okay, let's get one thing out in the open...the picture on my blog that says 'sometimes I worry about zombies' is not so half-assed pic to show how uber-kewl and different I can be or am. No, I really, truely fucking worry about zombies and shit, like no fucking joke! So she's comes walking like this and my mind is automatically in 'OHSHITOHSHITI'VEGOTTOGETTHEFUCKOUTOFDODGE!!!!!' mode, and I whip around scared to death, but it's just her. So instead of chewing her head off, I tell her quite calmly, 'You do know I am going to be getting my little brother, right?'
'I was just coming to see how you were doing,' she replies a little defensively, and then steps into my home as if that were an invitation and settles on my couch as if she owns it. GET THE FUCK OUT!!! I'm about to leave! This isn't fucking visiting hours! SHOO! But she stays and starts asking me questions about like how long am I going to be out? When am I going to be dropping my little brother off? How long is he staying here? What are you going to be doing later? Um...none of your freaking business!
And this is what I was telling her about before, when I said: you're just like those people at AiA, you don't like being alone. She got defensive with me then and told me that she LIKES being alone, that she LIKES her own solitude. And I'm like...NO THE FUCK YOU DON'T. See, me? I LOVE MY OWN SOLITUDE! I can go weeks without human interaction and be fine. You know that old black-and-white twilight zone episode where the guy just goes into the bank vault with his book, the world ends and then he comes back out and is relieved that he finally has some quiet time? Yeah, that's me. I'd be relieved if the world ended and I could get some quiet time. Being a hermit at the end of my life sounds like 'glory', and if I had hundreds of books, all the better.
But back to the whole let's stop by Erica's house unannounced. I don't like that, and the last time she did it--come to think of it was actually, yesterday--I told her: Jeez, call much? And she's like: my phone's off. And I tell her, You can find other ways of contacting me. Pay phone? Someone else's phone? Generally, if you stop by my home unannounced it's for emergencies only, and that's how I'm going to take it: an emergency. I mean, I've spent so much time with her that I've neglected most of my other friends.
Like, she's stayed at my home so many times that none of my other friends have even stayed here for one night, much less than the multiple times she's crashed at my place, and I am a giving person. if you need me I am there, but enough is enough. I need to be around my other peoples. I need to see my other crew. I need to hang out with them and chill with them and ask them: Hey, how the fuck you doin? every once and a while. I've spent more money on her than I have EVER spent on my other friends in the last ten years of knowing them and I have known these four people for ten damn years. I mean, fuck! I need a break!
Look at me. I'm getting tired and drained from writing about her...GAH!!!
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