You know, I'm really annoyed. Can I just say that? I mean, maybe I'm just blowing something up that really doesn't need to be blown out of propoertion, but this is annoying. You know that bad thing about being a really nice and insanely giving person is? How easy everyone else can just walk all over you forgetting that you have a life and you have responsibilities and that you just can't drop them for whatever reason. There are a lot of things that my friends just can't seem to get. I am not a walking BANK. I am not a TAXI SERVICE. I am IRRITATED.
Okay, so the reason behind this rant: Ashley wants to come into town to see her friend Necie and celebrate Necie's birthday. My response: an emphatic "NO!" Not because I am attempting to be mean or cruel because at any other time, I would do it without question.
It just bugs me that she asks me on Thursday, not considering that when I usually bring her home I plan for it, first off. That when she comes, it's an imposition because I AM NOT and extrovert unless need be and I don't like sharing my space (not because I'm spoilt) but because shit gets dirty and misplaced and touched and I HATE it because it's like itchy bugs all over my skin, and then she complains about not being able to do things, asks me to spend MY MONEY on unnecessary food stuffs when I have food that I have bought specifically so I won't spend my cash except on bills and what not, wants me to take her around the city for fun, and when she does eat my food, I have to go out a buy more food because I'm paranoid and scared of my refridge being empty (okay, so I'm OCD about alot of things, but it's a valid mental disorder....I just like an order to my universe...I mean, I'm partially freaking out now because of the fact that I don't have enough money now to go get groceries because I have to pay the last of my bills).
Anyway, she doesn't understand that it takes MONEY to have her here, and since its Necie's birthday it's going to take MORE money because of the fact that I have to drive to Macon, Ga. THen I have to drive back to Atlanta, Ga. Then I have to drive her and Necie around if they want to go somewhere. Then I have to drive Necie back to her home and then back to mine because of course Ashley is going to stay with me because she can't stand being around her family. THEN when the time comes, I have to drive Ashley back to Macon, Ga and then drive back to Atlanta, Ga. Factor in food costs and whatever other monies I'll be spending on (because I ALWAYS do), that's a shitload of money that I don't have. Therefore, I cannot make the trip.
So then she texts me today to ask me: 'My mom wants to know how much money you need for gas?' I'd say a good two hundred bucks because I have an SUV-type car and while its 6 cylinder engine is good on gas, it still eats up my money to fill it up. About 30 - 40 bucks, and that's only if it's a quarter tank full. If I make a trip to Macon, the tank is about half to a third empty. That's still money. PLUS no one considers the wear and tear that will have on my vehicle. I left my father's house on bad terms because I couldn't stand living there anymore. They don't seem to get that if that car breaks down, I will NOT have the money to get it fixed.
I want my car to run as long as possible, and if that means that Ashley has to miss out on Necie's birthday then tough. I always think about other people; I need to think about me. Besides, if Necie wants her here so bad then she NEEDS to figure out a way to get her up here herself.
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