Can You Ever Get Tired Of Helping People?

I believe I've said this before, but it bares repeating because it's a question that crossed my mind earlier today, but also weeks prior and I glossed over it before and didn't poner it seriously until I was confronted with the thought again today: can you get tired of helping people? Hm. Maybe not How about helping just one person? Is it wrong or mean, I wonder to just want to throw up your hands and say,'HEY! GO ASK SOMEONE ELSE FOR HELP?!' I mostly think it's when it deals with money that I begin to have a problem or slight personal insult too. I have anecdotes for everything, and I think that's the problem people have with me is that I have a logical explanation for all the things I feel or do.

It's just that Shari seems to be having a LOT of problems lately, and I realize that when a friend is having just so many issues, you should be there for them, but when is enough enough, when can you just say, go ask someone else. I've done insanely bigger things for her than I have for any of the other friends I've known for longer and it's been costing me...a lot. I've bailed her out of jail, helped her with her car, helped her pay her deposit for an apartment that she didn't even get and I've paid for her gas on numerous occasions. She's stayed at my home on numerous occasions, eaten my food and used my car for many different things, all at the expense of her driving without a license.

So, okay...does it seem like I've done too much? Am I being a walking punching bag or do I need to keep doing what I am doing even though I feel like I'm being taken advantage of?

I mean, for some reason, she automatically thought it was perfectly okay to ask me whether or not she could use my car to drive her and her boyfriend around for a personal day. Okay, I get it: you and he are trying to patch up your relationship, but why is it that I am the first one you ask? Why is it that your boyfriend's not asking to use one of his homeboy's cars? Or even his mother's car? Why is it that you can't ask your new roommates to help you bring your stuff to their apartment, why do you have to ask me and then have me awake at ten and eleven and twelve o'clock at night with a police escourt?

Do I sound like a bitch? Am I just being one? Or is it because my personality is just the type that says that I have to do things by myself and then expect everyone else to do the same? Does that mean I am a bitch?

I've been told by my brother and my father and...well...other people, that I just need to stop giving a shit about people so much and do things for myself, but helping is so much tied into giving a shit and doing things on my own that I'll attempt to do so much that I'm drained after every activity. So, do I follow my brother's advice and just say, fuck it, sorry, I can't help you? Or do I keep helping?

I know that if my father even knew that someone else was driving my car he'd have a coniption because he's always told me to care about myself more so than others and not do so damned much. But I can't help it because I want to fix everything, but can you ever just get tired of helping other people or just someone? Can you ever just say, you've got other friends to help you too, why do you have to keep pestering me? I don't know. Maybe I am being a bitch, but damned if I don't feel tired as hell just thinking about the whole situation. I want to go to sleep.

*yawn*

Adieu!