Okay, so...
I'm not going to have sex with Greg. Bit of a resounding d'oh in my head, but honestly...that other guy is on my mind a lot, and well...I've done the whole sex-when-not-in-a-relationship and it's a hollow affair, let me tell ya! I've done the one-night-stand thing too and while it's fun, I know myself well-enough to know that if that's all there is...then I get bored rather easily. Me and an old pal from High School did the whole one-night-stand thing and, while he was DAMN GOOD, I got bored afterwards and just started shutting down.
I want a relationship. R.E.L.A.T.I.O.N.S.H.I.P. I want to know that there's going to be something behind the actual act than just a 'Hey, I like you. You like me. Let's boogie.' Um...no. I want the connection and mayhap if I had seen Greg first he might have had a shot.
Let's face it: I always dwell on and obsess over things that might be a lost cause. Really! I just can't let go of things sometimes and while on others, say a business tycoon, that trait would be more helpful than detrimental, it's quite the opposite for me. I try to curb it though and it's getting better; I just have to put my foot down in my own mind and not just outside with other people.
I expect things. Mayhap that's my problem, but...I'm not going to get used again. Not by anyone and, if he can't understand the reasons (which he already knew, but damn if Arieses can't keep their mind focused for more than 2 seconds on anything), then we'll just have to say sayonada and throw up some deuces. I just...refuse to...do any of this without a foundation. If I don't have that than I'm lost, and I refuse to let my foundation go. I've worked too hard to make it stable these past few months to let some stubborn jerk tear it all down.
So, I'm standing my ground.
Hell, he wanted to sleep with me without even taking me on a first date!
*righteous indignation*
Hell no!!!
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